Post # 91
But it is not about inconvience though. My bf tried for over 6 months to bond with them and get used to the noise they are making. He can’t. I have seen him trying, I know he is not bluffing. And now it started to affect our relationship. It affects his life too because he never gets a chance to relax since half a day he is working and half a day he is listening to screeches.
Of course it will break my heart and I will never fully forgive myself for that decision but c’mon, don’t tell me that people like me make you sick. You make me out to be such a bad person when all I am trying to do is best life to parakeets AND my boyfriend.
And to be honest I feel like I am punishing my birds already without even rehoming them. They can’t be happy with blanket over their cage, or shut windows, or closed blinds during the day.
I did not make a bad decision to take them in, I did not know at that time that my boyfriend would move in 5 months after, or that he would not be comfortable with them around.
I don’t know, I am just trying to defend myself a little here because I think this is spinning a bit out of control.
EDIT: Now that I read my responses and such I realized that this post stopped being about “Should I give them away?” and became more about defending myself why I am doing that.
That was not my intention, I just came to decision of rehoming them while reading all of Bee’s posts.
Thank you again everyone for your input, pro and against. It means a lot.
Post # 92
First, I’m sure you can rehome then in Chicago! At least it’s a big market. I’m curious, did he support your idea to get the birds?
I love animals and treat my dog and cat like they are my kids (until I have kids, gasp). I’m obviously going to go against the grain here. I have no intention of ever giving up my animals, but if it came down to an animal or a human being, a human being wins every.single.time. I may not like it, but I will ultimately do what’s best for the humans in my family and do whatever I can to find the best home for my critters. I think it’s a little crazy that people are alarmed at how “angry” he is at the birds. If something was screeching incessantly in my home, I’d lose my shit too.
Post # 93
While I’m an animal lover I still believe your soon to be FI’s mental health takes precedence over your pets’ living arrangements.
Post # 94
If you are going to be serious with a man who does not embrace noise and mess, or in fact be with any man who is not heavily into animal rescue lol, I would never have noisy birds, cats or dogs that cannot be trained, or more than two dogs or cats. I’m assuming from the extent to which the birds bother your SO that you don’t live in a huge house so I can see why he is unhappy.
Could you give the parakeets to a friend until you have a house and in the meantime, acquire quieter birds?
You also could hold out for an animal rescue sort of dude. Don’t laugh but I have several guy friends from high school with good jobs/good taste in music/cute who do volunteer with rescuing dogs.
Post # 95
Please don’t let people make you feel like a terrible person for wanting what’s best for your birds. I mean, people put their own children up for adoption if they feel they can’t provide for them. They are not monsters. They are making the best, most responsible (though toughest) choice for wellbeing of their loved ones.
The birds are not merely an inconvenience. You have not grown bored of them, or decided they are too expensive, or are trading them in for a younger, cuter version. Your BF is having serious issues with them and you shouldn’t discount that. He has tried his best, but it’s just not working out. It sucks, life does sometimes.
We are all given a limited amount of information in life, and we do our best to make decisions based on this information. You thought your life would be different today than it turned out to be, otherwise I don’t think you would have gotten these pets. The best thing you can do is to ensure they go to a loving home, via the safest route possible.
Post # 96
Is there any sort of middle ground? I don’t know what your floor plan is, but can you put their cage somewhere in the back of your appt so that they can’t be heard so readily from the main living area?
Post # 97
Of course a person who is going to adopt a pet needs to research/plan/commit/etc. But a lot of times people don’t. That doesn’t make the person bad. I am a huge advocate for animals, so I don’t say this flippantly. It’s ultimately better to re home a pet that you realize you can’t care for properly than to let it live it’s life with substandard care and attention.
Post # 98
If he’s so irritated by the sound perhaps try finding a bird cage cover to block out some light. With my parakeet if she decides its fun to make the police siren noise for hours on end, a light cover over the cage usually calms her down.
Otherwise, if you genuinely cannot make things work out, do you have a family member or friend who would be willing to adopt them from you?
Post # 99
I would not get rid of my pets but I would attempt to find a happy medium ground for the situation.
Post # 100
That’s really sad. Did you even try to train them? There are bird behavior specialists. Why don’t you meet with one? That person will be able to assist you with training AND give your boyfriend advice on handling the situation. I find it ridiculous that you’re abandoning your pets without actually having a conversation about it, btw. He’s just hinting about how much he hates them so you’re giving them up? These are lives that you are responsible for, and at the very least you need to have a serious conversation about the decision. If you do rehome, you should keep them until a reponsible home is found and make sure the new home won’t do the same thing you’re doing in a few years.
Post # 101
No! If noise didn’t bother MANY people, then why are their noise ordinances in Chicago regarding loud music, partying, and construction — and these are all outdoor sounds.
In my old neighborhood, at our association meetings, a fair amount of time was spent on solving dilemma of loud students late at night. (Why? Because they spent a lot of money to live in Lincoln Park and noise is generally not considered a desirable amenity to those who have a choice to complain!)
In roommate situations, I’ve always been told that the messier, noisier person should be the first to make changes. Why? Because neatness and peace and quiet from constant noise is considered a good thing to many adults.
Suggesting her Fiance suffers mental illness because of the screeching bothering him? C’mon!!!
Post # 102
I think you missed my main point. Although I enjoy the sound of parakeet chirping, I grasp the fact that someone else might not be able to tolerate it to the point that a SO would ultimately need to rehome the birds. It was his extreme, hostile, over the top, persevering overreaction that caught my eye.
In fact, the BF does suffer from more than one mental health condition, something the OP has mentioned here. She appreciated learning about the correlation because it helped her to better understand where he was coming from.
Post # 103
OK I’m sorry. I jumped to conclusions, misunderstanding you. Thanks for giving OP info too.
Post # 105
Yes, excellent point. Please never offer pets for free. Not only does it attract potentially bad owners, it attracts people who acquire animals for research labs.