(Closed) My Bf said I need to lose weight for the wedding

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
4682 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

That’s a danger sign. What exactly did he say?


adding to say hugs to you. It really sucks.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by  kaylee26.
Post # 3
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yeah knowing your partner/ lover/ confidante sees your imperfections (real or imagined) just sucks. hugs

Post # 4
2698 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Ugh.. that is never a nice thing to hear.

But ..have you gained weight since you met? Did you tell him you wanted to lose weight at one point?

Post # 5
602 posts
Busy bee

your boyfriend is a dick. the only time it is ever okay to discuss weight loss with a loved one is if there is a serious health risk relating to the weight but its NEVER okay to suggest anybody lose weight for vanity reasons. If he said it out of love and concern for your health that’s one thing but if he just wants you to look a little thinner on your big day he can go f..k himself. 

Post # 6
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

The man who’s supposed to be your life partner, to love you no matter what, said you had to lose weight for ONE day?

If I were you, I would peace out of that relationship so fast. You are not obligated to physically change for anyone but yourself.

Post # 7
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

My Fiance and I discuss weight loss, for vanity reasons, quite a bit. We’ve both gained weight in the past 2 years and we’re both unhappy about it. So we do discuss it often.

And he makes jokes about my chubby armpits…lol!!

But all joking aside, since we don’t know the context in which the remark was made or if you’ve brought it up on your own to him before, I can’t really say “yeah he’s being a douche”

Maybe a little more detail would help us give you more advice?

Post # 8
328 posts
Helper bee

insecurebridetobe:  Hmmm. I appreciate honesty in a relationship like no other, but the honesty should be directed towards making a long-lasting improvement in the person’s life. E.G. My husband and I are acutely aware of the fact that we need to lose weight. We have begun changing our lifestyles and habits to reflect this awareness, and have begun looking better/feeling healthier. However, wedding photos and wedding attire were not our focus; looking and feeling better on our wedding day will be a byproduct of our desire to lose weight for ourselves. <br /><br />Am I making sense? I guess what I’m trying to say is honesty between partners is good, as long as it is said with good intentions and support and love behind it. Expectations should be realistic and constructed to help the other attain long-term happiness, not short term superficial goals!

Post # 9
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ya you need to give a bit more details. My fiancée has struggled yo yoing with 10 pounds for the past year but I honestly can never tell until he brings it up. And when he does I honestly tell him he looks hot! My job as his future wife is to be on his team, and love and support him through everything. Now if he suddenly gained a mass amount of weight and I was worried about his health I would bring it up, but still not by saying you need to lose weight for our wedding. If someone told me I didn’t to change the way I looked before my wedding I would be deeply hurt and question a lot more in the relationship 

Post # 10
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

insecurebridetobe: Not cool. I don’t take issue with partners talking to each other about the health etc. concerns they have about weight they have put on but to say you need to lose it purely to look good in wedding pictures? No. And you aren’t even engaged yet if you are referring to him as your Boyfriend or Best Friend I take it? Why did he bring it up – is your engagement conditional upon this?  

Post # 11
5226 posts
Bee Keeper

insecurebridetobe:  We need more context. If you are constantly bitching about your weight, and he saw you going for a brownie and said “Are you sure you want that? You need to lose weight for the wedding”, that is different than just some off hand comment about it.

Post # 12
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Title says it all! Your boyfriend, NOT fiancé, is telling you to lose weight for the “wedding”??! I would say it sounds like he is being manipulative and I would seriously question his intentions.

Post # 13
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My husband will tell me if I’ve noticeably gained weight, because I’ve asked him to do that. 

Im wondering if you somehow elicited his feedback, and then didn’t like what you were told? 

More info needed..

Post # 14
2879 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

insecurebridetobe: what wedding? yours or a friend’s? Agree we need more context, but if not, I have an easy way for you to lose 160 – 200+ lbs…

Post # 15
9225 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

More context would help, but as posted, it sounds hurtful & controlling.

The topic ‘My Bf said I need to lose weight for the wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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