(Closed) My BFF butt in our planning and Fiance hates her..

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

For all of you calling him a childish ass, remember he is a stroke victim and has possible Asperger’s.  Some of this he may not can help. It’s a sucky situation to be in that’s for sure, but telling her that her possibly mentally handicapped Fiance is an asshole isn’t helping.

Post # 33
Member
11266 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

from your posts, i would be a bit concerned on how he is going to react when the 2 of you have any form of conflict.  is he just going to dump you as his wife?  what about when you have children?  that adds a lot of stress to a relationship.  how will he handle that?  disown them?

initially this just sounds like immaturity but i think it’s deeper than that.

seriously, and i don’t mean to sound harsh, but are you not concerned with his actions?  what will your life look like in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years? 

have you considered getting him some therapy?

Post # 34
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

OP you should be concerned about how he will react when you do something he deems unforgivable. I’m not saying that you should put your friend in front of you Fiance, however you have known her for 15 years and him for less than 1. That’s a huge difference in how well you know these 2 people and the behaviors they are capable of. I hope you don’t cut your friend off because he doesn’t like her. 

Post # 35
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yes the solution is teling your Fi to pull on his big boy underware and act like an adult.

Don’t get wrong your BF was completely out of line she has no place in texting him or bringing up something like there, her role as friend is to listen to you vent and not to take that sort of action.

However your Fi has a gross over reaction, she realized her behavior was wrong and apologize. To hate someone over a minor incident and to be so petty dosen’t not reflect well on his charecter.

 

Post # 36
Member
802 posts
Busy bee

I think you just need to talk to him about how you feel. Acknowledge that you’ve heard what he said first so he knows that you really get how he feels. You understand that he doesn’t like her. You’ve heard all his opinions on her. You know they are there. It’s unnecessary for him to keep being so negative. Then bring in your own feelings. He doesn’t need to keep slamming her, especially when it really hurts you when he’s doing it. He doesn’t need to like her, and he doesn’t need to have a relationship with her. That’s his decision. But it’s not his decision whether or not your friendship should end. 

He loves you, so he should stop his behavior when he hears how it’s affecting you. If he doesn’t, it’s probably time to have the talk about how he’s dismissing your feelings, and that’s just not fair. 

 

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