Post # 1
Help Bees! Ok so second marriage for both of us, my vision: just >80 guests, intimate, classy, simple, scenic (great pics), 10k budget. His Armenian mom (I really do adore her) says church (huge), Nearby, hall, dancing, lots of alcohol, Armenian food (yum), loud music till 2am, will compromise on 100 people. Basically, and you’ve got to love this, she really wants to celebrate us in a big way and she thinks it can be done within our 10k budget (read bye bye classy, simple, scenic and intimate). Eek, the hall she showed us was in a strip mall! Swear!
I don’t live in their area so kind of a destination wedding for my guests (1 ½ hrs away) which makes it near impossible for me to scout locations but here’s my compromise and where you guys come in. A smaller church (Any Christian is fine) in the San Fernando Valley, a hall with some kind of outside area that isn’t a parking lot that allows outside catering of our choice that is open to loud music and late hrs for 100 guests, with a nearby area to get some nice photos? At this point I’ll pay extra if it makes me happy! Any ideas? Oh yeah and she wanted me to sign the contracts yesterday, quickly Bees!!
Post # 3
Well, first of all, I wouldn’t get rushed into signing anything. Your Future Mother-In-Law clearly has some really different ideas (from yours) and it sounds like you are not going to be happy with the same things that would be just fine for her.
While it’s great that she’s excited about your wedding, that doesn’t mean that you have to have the kind of reception/ceremony that she wants. It sounds like you’re trying to compromise, which is great. And a 90 minute drive doesn’t make it impossible to scout locations. Many will have websites, and you can line up appointments all on one day with whichever look the best and drive there. (At least you don’t have to get on a plane, right? And the price of gas keeps going down.)
You haven’t said how your Fiance feels about all this. Does he want the big, loud, strip-mall reception, or is he more about the smaller and quieter event that you initially planned? I think that his opinion is important, especially since it’s his mom who is wanting something different.
Post # 4
I’m Armenian, so I understand. Maybe you can compromise and either have the wedding at the Armenian Church and then your reception at your choice of a more intimate venue (maybe a winery…grapes are part of many Armenian customs). Or the other way around, have your ceremony at a more intimate setting of your choice and then a reception at a large hall to accomodate the dancing. I think there’s room to make everyone happy. Or you can do everything at your intimate venue choice, but make extra effort to include some Armenian customs (food, music, folk dancers, etc.) as part of the celebration.
p.s. If you choose to do your venue choice, maybe have your Mother-In-Law coordinate a fabulous rehearsal dinner at an Armenian Restaurant or the strip mall place with dancing, etc. Let her run with that rather than the wedding.