(Closed) My BM asked why she isn't MOH?!

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
3508 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

NYE2014:  I may be reading this wrong but are you saying you don’t feel like she deserves that title, that the title doesn’t reflect on your relationship. If so then stick to your guns and stay with just a Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 3
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

The fact that she’s married should have no influence on whether or not she’s your Maid/Matron of Honor. That title is for the girl you are either BFFs with, your sister, or a great friend that will help plan the wedding. She was not chosen as the Maid/Matron of Honor and unless you just met your Maid/Matron of Honor yesterday I don’t see why your friend gets to throw a tantrum. She can either agree to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, or not. How many BM’s do you have?

If you want to have a matron of honor too, cool. But it doesn’t sound like that’s what you want. If you told her the reason she isn’t the Maid/Matron of Honor is because “the title doesn’t fit her” since she’s married, it would hake sense why she brought the matron of honor question up.

Post # 4
Member
12954 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m confused – did you not ask her to be the Maid/Matron of Honor because you didn’t want to say Matron of Honor, or because you are truly closer with your current MOH?

Post # 4
Member
963 posts
Busy bee

Your post is kind of confusing… did you not ask her to be Maid/Matron of Honor in the first place, because she’s married?

Post # 6
Hostess
12052 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

NYE2014:  if the only reason you didn’t pick her as Maid/Matron of Honor is because she’s married, that’s a little silly to be honest.  My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor in title, she is the closest to me for sure but she has no desire to help plan or anything like that, one of my BMs is a planner and is also getting married so she’s my sounding board for a lot of decisions.

 

Post # 8
Member
3508 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

NYE2014:  If she doesn’t deserve then stick to your guns girl!

Post # 9
Hostess
12052 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

NYE2014:  in that case it makes perfect sense, the way your first post was worded it looked like she would have been Maid/Matron of Honor if she wasn’t married.  I would not have a Matron of Honour just for the sake of it.

Post # 10
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

At first I was confused, but now I understand what you’re saying.  Since she is your oldest friend and you were her Maid/Matron of Honor, so she probably feels bad that you didn’t automatically include her as Maid/Matron of Honor. It sounds like she is closer to you than you are to her.

I wouldn’t want a matron of honor just for title’s sake either.  It starts to be too much.  Did you reply to her email?  If not, I guess you can say that you hadn’t considered a matron of honor and that your bridal party is good as it stands.  Good luck.

Post # 11
Member
857 posts
Busy bee

Your choice is your choice. I dont think it is for anyone to question?! I chose my Maid/Matron of Honor and well that position for her was clear, but again, its not for anyone to question. Unfortunately, i think answering her, since she was the type of person to aks, may cause a fight. 

 

I guess you can simple answerher and just say something like, you just felt right.

 

Good lucK!

Post # 12
Member
1680 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

NYE2014:  do it how you wish! if you don’t think your friend is worthy of the title, that’s your decision – although you may need to explain that based on your post. i have a matron and a maid because it felt right to me…and the maid is actually doing most of the work because my matron is 7 months pregnant!

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