Post # 1
- Wedding: December 2014 - The Villa
So my Bridesmaid or Best Man have been identified and know who they are… they’ve known for months (at least 2). They also know who my maid of honor is…
@ first I was worried that my oldest friend was going to have some issues w/ the Maid/Matron of Honor not being her… but I assumed she rationalized since she’s married the title doesn’t really fit her. Since then she’s never asked or hinted at wanting to be Maid/Matron of Honor or being upset that she wasn’t. UNTIL this morning…
I got an email asking if I had a matron of honor or if I’d considered one… my thing is I did consider it, I decided against. Why have a matron of honor just for titles sake? Ugh. On one hand I feel like if this is going to make this conflict go away, then sure you can be Matron of Honor… but on the other hand, I’m like… that’s just not what I feel is reflective of our relationship. BAH!!
Post # 2
NYE2014: I may be reading this wrong but are you saying you don’t feel like she deserves that title, that the title doesn’t reflect on your relationship. If so then stick to your guns and stay with just a Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 3
The fact that she’s married should have no influence on whether or not she’s your Maid/Matron of Honor. That title is for the girl you are either BFFs with, your sister, or a great friend that will help plan the wedding. She was not chosen as the Maid/Matron of Honor and unless you just met your Maid/Matron of Honor yesterday I don’t see why your friend gets to throw a tantrum. She can either agree to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, or not. How many BM’s do you have?
If you want to have a matron of honor too, cool. But it doesn’t sound like that’s what you want. If you told her the reason she isn’t the Maid/Matron of Honor is because “the title doesn’t fit her” since she’s married, it would hake sense why she brought the matron of honor question up.
Post # 4
I’m confused – did you not ask her to be the Maid/Matron of Honor because you didn’t want to say Matron of Honor, or because you are truly closer with your current MOH?
Post # 4
Your post is kind of confusing… did you not ask her to be Maid/Matron of Honor in the first place, because she’s married?
Post # 6
NYE2014: if the only reason you didn’t pick her as Maid/Matron of Honor is because she’s married, that’s a little silly to be honest. My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor in title, she is the closest to me for sure but she has no desire to help plan or anything like that, one of my BMs is a planner and is also getting married so she’s my sounding board for a lot of decisions.
Post # 7
- Wedding: December 2014 - The Villa
I didn’t give her the title because she doesn’t deserve it. Honestly, she is my oldest friend and I was her maid of honor but I am WAY closer to my current MoH and friend of 10 years. The married part I guess was just a side note. I guess I feel a tinge of guilt because it’s like my mom said she IS the only married girl on train. So why not? I didnt explain to her anything about my choice – I really felt it was self explanatory. Maybe that’s where I went wrong…
MsGinkgo: MrsGatito: abbie017:
Post # 8
NYE2014: If she doesn’t deserve then stick to your guns girl!
Post # 9
NYE2014: in that case it makes perfect sense, the way your first post was worded it looked like she would have been Maid/Matron of Honor if she wasn’t married. I would not have a Matron of Honour just for the sake of it.
Post # 10
At first I was confused, but now I understand what you’re saying. Since she is your oldest friend and you were her Maid/Matron of Honor, so she probably feels bad that you didn’t automatically include her as Maid/Matron of Honor. It sounds like she is closer to you than you are to her.
I wouldn’t want a matron of honor just for title’s sake either. It starts to be too much. Did you reply to her email? If not, I guess you can say that you hadn’t considered a matron of honor and that your bridal party is good as it stands. Good luck.
Post # 11
Your choice is your choice. I dont think it is for anyone to question?! I chose my Maid/Matron of Honor and well that position for her was clear, but again, its not for anyone to question. Unfortunately, i think answering her, since she was the type of person to aks, may cause a fight.
I guess you can simple answerher and just say something like, you just felt right.
Post # 12
NYE2014: do it how you wish! if you don’t think your friend is worthy of the title, that’s your decision – although you may need to explain that based on your post. i have a matron and a maid because it felt right to me…and the maid is actually doing most of the work because my matron is 7 months pregnant!