Post # 1
Hey all. I think this is my actual first post here but I’ve been around a little while.
Well anyhow, my SO and I have been together 6 months, known each other about 2 years as friends prior to this and yesterday I came home from work to find him already at my house talking to my parents. It was a pleasant surprise and I didn’t really think anything at first until I realized my mom was in their conversation as well so I knew something was up and it wasn’t typical for my parents and boyfriend to be in “conference” like that. Mom hinted afterwards what it was about so now I’m all excited and a bit nervous because I know that question is coming in the future.
I’m wondering my fellow bees, if y’alls SOs asked/informed your parents beforehand too? What was that like! It’s the first time I’m experiencing this even though he’s not my first bf but he is the one that is my true love. (I hope that doesn’t sound cheesy)
I’ve love to hear your experiences about such a happy life experience.
Post # 2
I’m a grown woman so my husband knew he needed no ones ‘permission’ other than mine – that said he knew my mum would love to be in on a secret, so a day or two before he proposed he asked her “would you do me the honour of walking your daughter down the isle to marry me”. She was delighted 🙂
Post # 3
Oh man I remember that day so well. My mom already knew our plans but my dad was a tough one and oblivious to the seriousness of our relationship. I was taking care of a neighbors home and dog across the street for about 45 minutes and my husband decided that was the time he wanted to speak to my dad. He said it took him 10 minutes to muster up the courage to even start a conversation which is sooo not like him. Apparently my dad was very nice and appreciated the conversation. When I came home though they both just kind of stared at me and I didn’t know what to do/say. I got the hint then of what they talked about and I thought it went bad based on their reactions 😂 Glad I was wrong!
Post # 4
If my boyfriend went to my parents and asked them I would laugh in his face. This is such and oldfashioned tradition. I need noones permission to marry a guy I love. The tradition comes from times when daugthers were viewed as their parent’s property. There is nothing romantic about it.
Sorry if I offended anyone but I am suprised people still do it.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre
My boyfriend asked my parents for my hand in marriage, 6 months before he asked me. My fiancee my parents and future in laws planned a surprise engagement party for us. It was magical that’s when he proposed to me
Post # 6
- Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull
He asked for my parents blessing (not permission) 2 days beforehand and my mum was so scared of blabbing that she avoided me all the next day haha
Post # 7
My Fiance asked for my dad’s blessing a few months before he proposed. He knows my dad is old fashioned and would appreciate the gesture.
Post # 8
My fiancé asked my dad over the phone because he was in tech school for the AF. My dad likes to give him a hard time but secretly loves my fiancé to death. My dad would never say no and it was a formality. No, I am not my parents property but as the “new” man in my life, it was nice for him to ask my dad, the man who raised me. It’s not about “permission” to me. It’s about my father knowing what’s good for me and being involved in the decision.
Post # 9
Thanks for the responses! Yeah my dad was born in the 30sso he’s very old fashioned. My SO knew he didn’t need permission but he’s just a respectful person so I wasn’t surprised he would talk to them about his plans and I know it is something they’d appreciate. I think that’s what counts, the respect even though it’s not something required. 🙂
I guess I’ll update you bees on what happens next.
Post # 10
My Fiance didn’t have to ask my mom but he did because she wanted to be nice. I didn’t care really, I knew it was coming, he showed me the ring and had me try it on cuz it was custom made. I think I would have been more excited if I didn’t know at all.
Post # 11
Lol yeah I’m grown too, 31 years old but he was the one who brought it up as he knew my dad was old fashioned so I told him he could go ahead and talk to my dad if he really wanted to and I knew my dad would appreciate something like that. I’m glad yours turned out well and your mom must’ve been crazy excited at that time
Post # 12
My fiance went to my father’s grave to ask for a sign of his blessing. He turned around and there stood a fox playing in the grass. He came home, took me into his backyard, got down on one knee and proposed. I had no idea he left to go talk to my father. Every element of my proposal was a surprise!
3 weeks before he propsed, we went to the cememtery together, and I asked for a sign that my father was ok. This was the first time we turned around and saw a fox! So, for the fox to be there a second time (a second sign) it really touched my heart.
I lost my father to lung cancer 5 years prior. The next day we went to the cememtery to tell my father the good news!
Post # 13
Haha, your dad sounds like mine. He’s a tough cookie and can be very unpredictable at times but from what I could tell, it seemed to go well. When I came home, they all just looked at me, my SO and mom was smiling and if I came near they’d all stop talking so it sort of made it pretty obvious what the discussion was about lol
Nah it’s not offensive and yes it is old fashioned but my dad is from the 30s and also we’re from the Caribbean so it’s pretty common here with the older people and doesn’t mean anything about me being property but I know it can mean that in other cultures. Everyone’s situation vary but thanks for your input. 🙂
That is so cool and sweet!
Lol I can understand why she did that. My mom’s not great with secrets either!
Yeah that’s my situation too. So he took that into consideration when it came to my dad but he knew he didn’t need permission as I’m an adult but I do appreciate that he just didn’t think about me and him but into our overall future with family involved.
Exactly. Everyone’s situation is different so to me it was like, okay I know my dad is this way and my SO got to know my dad and knew he was old fashioned and my dad wanted the best for me, so to me, him approaching my dad gave them a good opportunity for advice and wisdom to be shared cause let’s face it, they both have the same goal of wanting to see a special lady happy.
Post # 14
So sorry you lost your dad and thank you for sharing that experience. I love the photo and I know that must’ve been so sentimental for you.
Post # 15
He lost both his parents at a young age and I lost my father when I was 34. We are 39 & 51 now and planning a wedding without our parents is bittersweet for us. I still have my mother who I am so grateful for. When we talked about marriage I mentioned how my father never had a man ask for his daughters hand…and at that momenet he must have been hanging on my every word. I love sharing our story because it makes me feel very loved by my fiance and my father.
My diamond engagement ring was his mother’s engagement ring. He lost her when he was 9 to Lupus. I’m so honored he gave it to me. He included our parents as much as he possibly could haha!