My boyfriend does not care that I am coming out of college with student loans

posted 6 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
7002 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Seriously? I know VERY FEW people who came out of college without student loans. Trust that your boyfriend is telling you the truth. 

Post # 17
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’d almost rather date someone with loans (provided they were being responsible about making payments)! Having loans shows that the person made their own way to some extent rather than solely relying on mommy & daddy’s pocketbook.  

Post # 18
Member
12125 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

You haven’t answered an earlier poster’s relevant question. What kind of debt are we talking about? What is your anticipated career and or income upon graduation and beyond? 

Fiscal responsibility is a quality I looked for when dating. If someone had stupidly taken out a quarter of a million in undergraduate loans to finance a major in partying, then yes, I’d have a big problem with that. If it’s a modest amount or a larger amount to enter a field or profession that justifies the investment that’s a very different story.

Post # 19
Member
4053 posts
Honey bee

I don’t understand this. If your boyfriend says it doesn’t bother him that you will have outstanding loans, why are you worrying if he’ll mind your student loans? And why do you care about what your ex thought? Don’t bring crap from an old relationship into a new one.

Post # 20
Member
13595 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Darling Husband came into our relationship with signifcant private law school student loans.  I had a manageable amount of grad school loans that were paid off 6 months after we married.

We were both very up front in the beginning of our relationship about assets and liabilites we’d be bringing.  As long as you aren’t blindsiding a partner about debt, I don’t think it’s a reason to end a relationship (or that he’d end one with you!).

Post # 21
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I wouldn’t worry. I mean as long as you’re planning on a future where you’ll be working and paying off the loans…no big deal. I just talked to my husband about it and his only opinion was that it was nice that neither of us had loans when we met because it enabled us to do things like buy a house right away. That’s it. Just a plus of convenience. 

Post # 22
Member
871 posts
Busy bee

If your current boyfriend isn’t fazed by the relatively common fact that you have student loans to pay off, why do you give a toss what your ex thought? 

Post # 23
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Your boyfriend is just being a normal person. Your ex was a jerk. Don’t let the jerk’s crap influence your feelings in a newer, healthier relationship. 

Post # 24
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

basketballchick24 :  It sounds like your EX didn’t want you to have student loans. Unless you’re dating your ex, I dont know why this matters.

If your current boyfriend says he doesnt care, then he most likely doesnt care.

 

If I lived my life according to stupid comments my exes have made, I would have bleached my hair blonde, gotten Dear Daughter implants, and I would own several dozen pairs of stripper heels.

Post # 25
Member
348 posts
Helper bee

basketballchick24 :  I have a doctoral degree.  Most of my friends have graduate degrees.  Everyone I know has student loans that are upwards of six figures.

I bet you have a cute amount of student debt, like under 35k.  That is a manageable sum for almost anyone with a professional position to pay off.  When I graduated from college, it’s about what I had.  Although I worked at a nonprofit, I was easily able to manage my loans on a low salary.

Student loans shouldn’t really be a huge thing in a relationship.  Because my loans are so large, I would usually let the other person know before things got serious.  No one ever had a problem with it.

My hubby now is helping me pay toward my loans.  I am helping him pay for his graduate degree out of pocket without loans.  (We share money so it’s all ‘ours’.)   But for my student loans and the salary it brought, its unlikely we’d have the resources to pay for his education without loans.  So it’s sort of a win for him.  🙂

Keep your loans out of default and you will be fine.  If you have government loans, and have trouble paying, there are income based repayment options.

Post # 26
Member
2358 posts
Buzzing bee

basketballchick24 :   When you graduate you’ll be like the 99.9% of college graduates. I dont know anyone that is college debt free. And after 18 years I am still paying. ANd will be paying…for a long long time.  

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