Post # 166
There’s nothing wrong with not wanting marriage. Also nothing with wanting it.
Personally, I don’t think that marriage should be the goal. Getting married for the sake of getting married doesn’t seem right to me.
But we’re married because of the emotional and psychological aspects of it. We wanted to publicly tell people that we are committed to each other. I wouldn’t have minded a long term partner either, but this felt right.
Post # 167
I typed a response and got an error so hopefully I don’t double post: I never thought I wanted marriage until I met FH. we moved in together after 3 months which was HELLA risky, but I wasn’t thinking of marriage either at that time. As things went along (we’ve been together 6 years) I started to realize that was something I really DID want- with HIM. I was also afraid to bring it up for fear of seeming “pushy” but got over that and brought it up around year 4. I made it clear that I needed that in my future, and he said he wasn’t ready. He wanted to accomplish some goals first- one being, buying a house so we were more stable before planning a wedding. I NEVER would have done that had we not had clear communication of our expectations and mutual goals. COMMUNICATION IS KEY. If you are too timid about what you want out of life and can’t communicate it to your partner- you’re in for some real trouble no matter how this shakes out.
Post # 168
I’m not too timid to talk about it. I did and he said there’s other paperwork you can have to ensure that your boyfriend or girlfriend does not suffer financially if there’s a break up.
Post # 169
Why would he be willing to sign that “other paperwork” but not get married?
ETA: That’s not a rhetorical question. I really am curious and I think it would be very informational for you to ask him this directly. Why is he ok with one but not the other? What is the difference to him?
Post # 170
There are people who disagree with marriage for reasons such as believing that the Government has no business being involved in their personal lives, etc. Maybe he’s one of those people who don’t like what marriage stands for.
Post # 171
But the “other paperwork” is also the government being involved in his personal life. So why is he ok with that government interference, but not a wedding?
Post # 172
I’d call his bluff and get that paperwork for him to sign
Post # 173
yes of course there is paperwork available but is he actually getting that paperwork and filling it out??
Post # 174
What paperwork? Wills and insurance?