What really matters here is how high of a priority sex is to you in life and relationships.
Sex is a pretty high priority for me – I reached a point in my life (after having dated guys with whom I was sexually incompatible) where I decided I wouldn’t spend more than a few months of my time with someone whose libido was very much different from mine.
You might come to the same conclusion – or you may decide that sex is actually not all that important to you so long as everything else is amazing. That’s for you to think about.
For me, I view sex as integral to maintaining the romantic side of a LT relationship. I think LR’s/marriages so easily slip into more of a friendship, with one or both partners missing the romance element and feeling unfulfilled, that for me (not judging anyone else here) prioritizing sex from the outset and making sure it continues to be a priority within the relationship is my way of trying to guard against that shift.
I want Fiance and I to have a healthy, robust sex life well into old age – and that goal requires a lot of effort and work. It doesn’t happen effortlessly for most couples.
My issue, in your situation, would be the infrequency so early on in the relationship. You guys are supposed to be in the honeymoon period, which usually artificially raises people’s libidos. After the honeymoon period, the libido usually lowers back down to each person’s baseline, which is more like 1 or 2 x’s a week. In your shoes, I would be worried that his 1-2 x’s a week honeymoon frequency will lower down to 1-2 x’s a month in the near future.
As for you trying to figure out why he’s not initiating, as PP have said, it’s not wrong to have a low libido. It doesn’t necessarily inidicate anything else is going on, other than that you guys aren’t sexually compatible.
Definitely go the sex therapy route if you think the relationship is worth it, but it probably makes more sense to move on. The reason I say that is because of your note that he doesn’t seem to care at all that you are frustrated, and is making zero effort to compromise with you. That is incredibly selfish of him.
I have a slightly higher libido than Fiance, and I mentioned to him ONE time that I needed more sex than he did, and that I wished he’d initiate more, that it made me feel loved and wanted and attractive to him – and he immediately started initiating more, and has been ever since.
I can definitely see him making the effort to make me happy, and that attitude means the world to me. I’ve been in so many relationships with men where I stated a need only to be ignored, that I know how truly valuable this sort of “eager to please” attitude is in a partner. You may be eager to please all you want, but if your partner isn’t the same way, you will just begin to feel used and depleted after a while.