- 6 years ago
Hi everyone. I want to thank everyone who has even just taken a minute to read my story. Thank you for your support and your understanding. It means so much to me right now, when I feel like my relationship with my boyfriend has gone somewhere unrecognizable.
Quick recap: after 3 years dating my boyfriend, I found out he’d been abusing, and then building an addiction to opiates. Particularly pills, but he didn’t turn down heroin if it was offered. I was horrified, and he has completely dedicated himself to getting clean and maintaining a clean life.
Well, I’ve told my family, now. Two nights ago I let my parents and my brother in on it. I was afraid that, being protective of me, they’d tell me I should at the very least take a break from him. They didn’t. They were supportive of me, said they still love him, and that they are proud of him for confronting his problems and being so active in the process of getting better. Obviously they are still concerned for me, but that is a given. I was glad that, after I explained everything they said they thought that I was approaching this rationally, and wasn’t letting myself get blinded by my relationship with him. I’m still taking care of myself and trying to enjoy myself. They think I’m handling this the right way (partially with help from you guys!) and that I’m being strong. That’s good, because I’m normally a bit too non-confrontational. If he and I disagree about something about treatment or recovering, I can stand my ground.
My SO is still going to NA meetings, and has gone to see his old therapist. Since he has been clean for 2 and a half weeks (and evidently one big reason for inpatient is for detox) she has told him he should be fine with an intensive outpatient program, so long as it isn’t in the same city where he’d get his supply or even where he’s been living with me (in case something here may be a trigger). It’ll be around his hometown, and he thinks he’ll be starting Monday. It’ll be 5 days a week from 9 to 2, I think.
Meanwhile, I’m taking advantage of my work’s employee assistant program, which gives me 6 free therapy sessions a year. It has helped me sort through the tangle of information and feelings.
Possibly one of the things that keeps me the most optimistic is that he says he’s been having fun and he’s happy (despite still feeling ashamed/us missing each other), which it sounds like he wouldn’t be capable of yet if he had completely lost control. It gives me hope. I’m cautiously optimistic.
I’m still sad to be going from the waiting game to realizing I’ve got at the absolute minimum a year and a half before it’d even be a good idea to consider it (assuming with crossed fingers that we can survive this as a couple)…. but really the only thing that is important right now is that he get better. If he can get past this and leave it behind it will all be worth it.