Post # 1
New bee here! Have browsed the site but not posted.
I will be succinct: my boyfriend who I love and is an amazing boyfriend and man is CONSTANTLY checking out other girls. No flirting exactly just always giving a double take to a hot girl. It is annoying to me but I don’t want to come off as insecure by bringing it up. Help!
Post # 2
- Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA
Don’t try to be the cool girlfriend. It never works out and this could turn into a much bigger problem than it needs to be. In my opinion, it’s disrespectful for him to check out other girls with you sitting right there. I would have a problem with this too, and I don’t think it makes you insecure.
Talk to him and let him know how it makes you feel.
Post # 3
I completely agree with somedaymrsj, don’t try to brush it off to seem cool. If it bothers you, TALK TO HIM. Or else your relationship will be filled with insecurity
Post # 4
My hubby does it to and I told him so he does it less …or trys to do it without me seeing. My Father-In-Law is horrible for it but has been married for 40 yrs so just try to tell him how u feel …kinda worked for me lol
Post # 5
I think there is a difference between noticing an attractive person and doing the double take, eyes bulging out cartoony thing. Its disrespectful (imo) to me as a partner to have my husband straight up oogling other women.
Post # 6
To me, we’re human, we notice other attrative humans. Sometimes *I’m* the one doing the double take and eyeing another attractive female up and down and my husband will tell me, omg you totally just checked her out!!! And I’m just like.. oh… umm, yeah, she was really hot/pretty and dressed so well. As long as he’s not pursuing her and making it all sexual, it wouldn’t really bother me.
Post # 7
It’s not being insecure to ask your boyfriend to not ogle other women in public. It’s unattractive enough to me that I’d just dump him and move on rather than have a conversation about it though.
Post # 8
Start blatantly checking out other guys.
Post # 9
if it bothers you, it’s worth talking about.
He ‘may’ not realize he’s dong it. As long as you aren’t trying to control him like preventing him from hanging out with certain people or checking his phone or being super jealous, I think it’s healthy to have a conversation about what makes you feel safe and happy.
If he loves you, he will understand.
Post # 10
Talk about “jumping to the dump” lol!! jk
Post # 11
Bee this is a case where you demand respect. He’s completely being disrespectful by ogling other women in your presence…..you need to nip that in the bud.
Post # 12
yeah, this. I’d be so grossed out that this guy is such a skeezeball.
I guess I can see giving him the benefit of the doubt that he might not KNOW he’s doing it and seeing if he stops doing it once you bring it to his attention (and tell him it bothers you). But yeah. If he knows what he’s doing, then yuck. Just yuck.
Post # 13
Oh dear gawd. When will women stop trying to be the Cool Girl? Your bf’s behavior is disrespectful to you and to the women he’s ogling. It’s also immature AF.
Talk to him. Tell him how it makes you feel. If he continues, decide whether you can live with that sort of behavior and a man who doesn’t care about your feelings. If it stops, problem solved.
Post # 14
that is extremely disrespectful of him. bring it to his attention next time you see him do it and see how he reacts…is he disrespectful to you in any other terms of your relationship?
Depending on the length of the relationship, I’d probably be contemplating a break up. I don’t think I could handle this sort of thing. It would personally make me feel insecure and physically inadequate to have my man undressing women with his eyes directly in front of me. I’d seriously be wondering if he could do that in my face—what does he do when I’m *not* around?!
Post # 15
Not cool with me, talk to him about it and if he can’t stop then I would probably break up with him. Do you want to live your life watching him do that?