(Closed) My BOYFRIEND LEFT ME AND GOT SOMEONE ELSE PREGNANT!!!

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 1
Member
5 posts
Newbee

Hi guys!! Im writing this post with tears in my eyes because im so heartbroken. I would just like some words of encouragement and to know that im not the only one in the world that’s been hurt like this and the hurt wont last forever. Basically, around about a month ago, my boyfriend of 1 year left me for another woman. He didn’t tell me the truth but he started spending all his time with her, while i was left confused and hurt. Then i ran into them at a man and he acted like i was a a stranger, even tho a few days prior he was telling me how much he miss me nd love me. To top it off , te girl was someone i worked with and she knew he was my boyfriend. But i guess she wanted to take him from me. It worked. A week ago he sent me along message claiming that im the love of his life, he’s sorry for everything, and im the best thing to ever happen to him, and he wanna make it work cuz he can’t live without me. Right after that i found out that the girl is pregnant by him. He told me he’s Not happy at all with her and wasgonna make her get an abortion because he done want her or the baby and disrespect her in so mand he wants to stay any ways. He said he would do anything to get back with me, just give him time to get out of his situation. And i was dumb enough to actually fall for his lies and bullcrap again. The same day i found out that he was telling the girl he loves her and can’t wait for her to have his baby and He wants to stay with her. So he’s playing with both of us. And he’s still trying to sleep around with other females. I know i sound pretty pathetic to have let him put me through all of this and i thought i was smarter than that, but i loved him so much and i really thought he was the one for me. I finally told myself that one going to cut all ties from him, but it hurts so bad to know that he loves and is happy with someone else. And let me just tell u, the guy is a rude, lying, immature, uneducated, thief. But i just keep thinking that somehow he’s going to be with her and become the perfect man for her and everything i wanted him to be, he’s gonna be that for her. I even sometimes question what did she have that i didn’t. This pain hurts so much and to know that he’s about to have a baby kills me. I know in my brain that i can do better and he didn’t deserve me . Actually i knew that before the cheating occurred, but for some reason , i guess love, i stuck around long enough to get hurt. But i kind of feel like that was god’s way of telling me to stop settling because i can do better. I just really need encouraging words because i m truly hurting and crying every few minutes. I was the best and tried to make him the happiest guy and he did this to me. And i wanna think that karma will come into play because they both did something triflin and wrong, but what if they live happily eveR after????

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Post # 3
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

So what if they live happily ever after???  You said so yourself, he’s a piece of crap. Time will help you get over him, and then you will meet a real MAN who will treat you better than this guy could ever dream, and you will laugh at the way you are carrying on now. 

Do yourself a favor, and change his number in your phone to “DO NOT ANSWER”

Post # 4
Member
1794 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

What a creep! *Hugs* It’s hard right now, but you will get through this! Focus on you and take as much time as you need to mourn the relationship and get on with your life. There is something better out there for you

Post # 5
Member
1574 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Oh honey,  i  know it hurts but this is NOT  the man for you. A man who truly loved you woul not have gotten in this situation and certainly would not be playing with your emotions this way.  time to make a clean break = block his phone, have a good cry and hang out with family and friends who love you.  you will get through this.

Post # 6
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh girl, let me answer that question for you: “What did she have that you didn’t?” She had no heart and a little brain. Let her deal with that man. She might not deserve that type of man either but that was her choice. And as you say, pain shall pass. Right now it is normal that you feel hurt, but one day you will see why it was better that he is out of your life. Don’t think all those thing about the man he will become with her because those are just expectations you built about him, that clearly is not who he is. Cut everything and stay away from him, you could even change your phone number so he does not bother you anymore and get rid off everything that might push you to look for him. Find new activities to do, maybe there is something you have not tried that you want to do, or look for an excersice class like Zumba (they are fun), group classes are good, they take your mine off all the stuff you might think if you are all alone and depress at home. Keep your self busy, and like I said forget about that. Forgive them both (it sounds hard to do), it will help you move on faster, it will help you heal completely without thinking all the time the “what if’s, or could have been’s”.

And don’t think any less of you. YOU. ARE. WORTH IT. And deserve only happiness and the knowledge that you are worth of being fully loved and respected. Hope you feel better, maybe not today but in time. Big hug.

Post # 7
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I cannot, for the life of me, ever understand how a woman can willingly be in a relationship with a man when they know that he is already in one with someone else… We are so quick to judge the guys that cheat (rightfully so), but what a breach of sisterhood.  There really isn’t much that can be said that will make this pain go away, except to reassure you that in time, your heart will heal.  I do think you need to completely cut off all contact with him.  He is obviously a very good and manipulative liar who is getting something out of playing both fields so you need to put yourself first and not enable him. So sorry that someone has treated you so poorly but I really do believe that one day you’ll be able to look back and see that this experience has freed you to be with someone who is deserving of your love and energy.  This guy isn’t it, but I promise you someone out there is and until such a time that you’re ready, take care of yourself and put your needs first.  Hugssss.

Post # 8
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

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@MrsSl82be:  Or better yet, block his number all together.

Post # 9
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Don’t worry about whether or not he becomes a “perfect man” for this other girl. In all likelihood, he’ll just keep screwing around on her.

I know you don’t see it now, but you are very, very lucky that you are not in that other girl’s shoes. You are free to move on from him without having a child to attach you to him forever. You will be able to find someone a thousand times better than this jerk, and you can have the life you want for yourself, rather than a miserable life with a cheater.

Post # 10
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

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@RayRayFurious:  ah yes, that could be a better solution!

Post # 11
Member
2259 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sorry for you! 🙁 I think you can rest your mind though and whenever you think of them, remind yourself that it is VERY unlikely they will be a happily ever after. guys, if they are the marrying type, rarely will marry the girl they leave a good girl to cheat on. It will fizzle out in time. So will the pain. I know it’s cliche, but time really goes heal a lot. Block him and focus on being happy again, it might take a while but you are better off alone than with a guy like this who doesn’t recognize you for the treasure you are! What a douche. 

Post # 12
Member
5 posts
Newbee

Thanks guys! I just can’t wait to get to the point that i can go days without thinking about him. I know i deserved better, but i guess wanted him to be the one to give me better. Its just crazy how u can love someone with such a pure and genuine heart, and they see that, but still play games with ur heart. I cannot understand why he decided to get back in contact with me, if he still was playing games. And i really dont understand why i even let him. I should’ve known better. I guess im just young and naive because i used to think that people had the same good intentions and pure heart as i did, but now i see tht most people aren’t. Oh and as far as blocking his number, he can’t even afford a phone, he was calling and texting me from the girl’s phone, because he “didn’t care about her or disrespecting her, he would do anything to talk to me”. Now that i think about, i should be grateful that she took the loser off my hands. I just can’t wait to the day comes where there’s nomore hurt and my heart heals, because i just know im gonna look back and laugh at the idiot.

Post # 13
Member
2259 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@NyJones89:  that’s a good place to be! I’m not a relationship guru but I do believe that when you find that right someone who won’t have to be the perfect girlfriend for him to love you or want to take care of you. He’ll do that regardless of what you’ve been through or how many jerks messed you up along the way. 

Post # 14
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@NyJones89:  Maybe this story will help you…as short as I can make it:

In college, I met a boy, we fell in love, and we dated for 3 years.  He ended things, after I ‘suspected’ he was cheating on me with a girl in his business fraternity.  A week later, said girl and my ex are officially a couple…dated for years after that, got engaged, and he cancelled the wedding 1 month before – knocking on MY door, saying HE MADE a mistake (5 years earlier!!).  I told him to PISS OFF, and never ever regretted doign so…EVER!

IT HURT LIKE HELL for years following the immediate break up, I am not going to sugar coat that.  I had to see them out, bc we went to the same University, and I had to hear how ‘happy’ he was from peers that knew us both.  I would have done anything to have him at that time, or to find out ‘why her?!’ and not ME!  I gave up on love…I thought I would never be happy. 

Then, one day, I realized I had not thought about him.  One day, I realized I was so much better off, and did not need a) a cheater, and b) someone that did not want to be with me in a committed relationship.  One day I realized that time I had being single, having fun, owning my own home was eye-opening and liberating, and although I knew I wanted a love so deep again, was THANKFUL that it was not his love I needed.

I figured out that it was HER bc it was not ME, and that was OK, bc honestly, she got her heart broken too, although this time it was before her wedding.  I DID NOT NEED IT!

Today, I am happy in love with a wonderful man who treats me the way I deserve, and you will too…ONE day.  But, sadly, these things take time.  You will get there, I promise you.  Let yourself grieve the loss, but little by little keep picking yourself  back up.

SORRY FOR THE LONG POST.  Good lucK!!

Post # 15
Member
5 posts
Newbee

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@OUgal0004:  

Thanks so much! That really just gave me a different outlook. It just sucks because i know eventually i am going to run into him, and then if i actually see the baby when its born, it might break my heart all over. But hopefully i will long over him by then.Its good to know that life goes on, and sooner or later im gonna get my natural smile back and feel like my happy old self again. Thanks again!

Post # 16
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t WANT to be with someone who said they were gonna “make” a girl get an abortion.  What a creep!

The topic ‘My BOYFRIEND LEFT ME AND GOT SOMEONE ELSE PREGNANT!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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