(Closed) My boyfriend proposed but there is a problem with the ring

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Aisling2:  I think it’s worth getting an appraisal of your own in writing that contradicts theirs, and opening a dispute.

Post # 4
6252 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Aisling2:  I think you contact the vendor. I doubt your Fiance (!) would be hurt by this — you love the ring, but it is not what they originally promised so you either need to get some money back from him or have them swap the stone … or something. Can we see it? Congratulations!!!

Post # 5
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ANGELaaimt:  +1 I would contact the vendor with your appraisal info, what she sold him was not what was described.

Post # 6
8700 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

That is DEFINITELY a problem! I would get it appraised and open a dispute. He paid for an eye-clean stone, and he/you should have one!

Post # 7
2248 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

@Aisling2:  Is this sapphire untreated? Sapphire grading is not like diamond grading. My stone is “eye clean” to most untrained eyes you will never see the rutile crystal without a loop. However there are rutile crystals in one quadrant and they are translucent. I love them it proves the stone hasnt been treated. I have one in particular that comes to one of the corners of the facte at the top. It can only be seen at one angle in certain lights. I am the only person that sees it, my husband friends cant see it. I have a jewelers loop at the house and I find it fascinating that I have these crystals in my sapphire :D.  I have seen a lot more stones than they have though and know a lot about inclusions etc, and therefore see them easier. Some jewelers didnt even see it until they took a loop to it. When you loop my stone there are actually three of these total in the stone. It does not detract from the stone, and it is still graded “eye clean”. It also doesnt affect the stability of the stone, stones from where mine came from have this type of crystal and are usually not eye clean. This is one way to place the origin of the stone with the loop is by the formation in an untreated stone. Untreated sapphires will have rutile crystals, silk, pits, etc. Treatment melts that out, but detracts the value. I knew this going in that “eye clean” would be the best we could get.

Your options are:

1. Get it looked at by a master gemologist. If its not what you were sold open a dispute.

2. If its natural love what nature made.

3. Try to see if they can source another stone.

Post # 9
1809 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Aisling2:  I think your fi will be a bit down about it, but like you said, he went to so much effort, it wouldn’t be fair for him to not get what he paid for. A new stone is in order.


Do you mind posting a link to the etsy page with the ring? I want to see it so I know how easy it would be for another jeweller to reset it. If it wasn’t cast in place, it might not be a huge hassle

Post # 10
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Definitely get it looked at!  You want what you paid for!  You either deserve the correct gem, or a discount if it does not appraise

Post # 11
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Get it checked out and contact vendor.

my now Fiance went through ALOT with my ring before he proposed. He was sold a diamond at a very nice grade and under false pretenses. Got it appraised 2 times even by the sister store and everyone told him he was sold a LOWER grade! Thankfully he’s a lawyer and got them to fix it, i ended up with a slightly smaller diamond but much better grade then he could afford.

People in this industry will pull a fast one so be careful!!!

Post # 12
43 posts

I would definitely contact the vendor about the problem. You don’t want to feel nagging regret without having any recourse later on. Jump on the issue now and get it resolved.

Post # 13
7225 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Since it was made through Etsy, there could be a problem getting it fixed if you choose to. You can definitely get a different appraisal and open a dispute via PayPal or however he chose to pay.

The downside, is that you’ll most likely lose the ring. Most of the time, the vendor will request the ring back. They could offer you a new stone, but you’d likely have to send the ring back to them (Unless you were willing to pay to have your stone reset locally if the seller agrees to this) and that just opens an entirely new can of worms.


IF IT WERE ME, I’d leave it alone.

Is the ring beautiful? Yes? Then don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t bother myself with an inclusion unless it was the size of the arctic circle (Literally, not figuratively) but, that’s just how I would handle the situation. Your fiance definitely deserves to get what he paid for (Who doesn’t?) but in this situation, I’d probably leave it alone.

Post # 14
35 posts
  • Wedding: April 2015

I would not necessarily return it or trade it in because its the ring he proposed with and is special. I would definitely want some sort of discount for it though. Is it big enough to where it bothers you?

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