(Closed) My boyfriend think we are not perfect for a marriage.

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you should step back and look at this from an outsiders perspective. He told you point blank that basically you two didn’t have a good enough relationship for marriage. 

I would tell him that I was sorry he felt that way and move on. Don’t waste your time with someone who is just going to string you along. 

Post # 4
Member
7405 posts
Busy Beekeeper

He just not into you. Move on.

Post # 5
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I know plenty of LDRs work out but think about it this way. You’ve only been together 18 months and seen each other once in the past 10. That’s  not a lot. If after just that he’s telling you it’s not going to work, then it’s not going to work.

It’s a shame, but I think you’re better off moving on than wasting your time with him.

Post # 6
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

So many women stay with guys for years getting mixed signals or strung along, so I think having him tell you that he does not see a future with you is quite a blessing so you won’t be wasting time/money/effort/energy wondering and waiting and hoping and wishing for a real future with him.

Post # 7
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would NOT leave your country. Not right now anyway. Did you you explain the situation to him about it being a fiancee visa? If he wants to be with you forever, but does not want to get married when he knows for you to even be here you guys have to, then something is wrong.  If he is firm on not getting married, then I would just stay in Asia. What country are you from by the way? Just curious. I know it will hurt, but imagine how much more it will hurt to come allllll the way here and then have him break your heart over marriage. I am sorry you are going through this, and if he can’t understand that you need marriage, my advice to you is to stay home and move on. I know it will hurt, but it will get better. Good luck!!! *hugs*

Post # 8
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well I would basically say your relationship is over… this comes from a gal who has been from a close relationship, then to long distance, then found it hard to readjust when we were close distance again.

Online talk is fine – but its no substitute for the everyday physical relationship you get when you can actually see each other and do things together.

Please don’t give up everything to move to be with him, love is usually only just round the corner from where you are, especially if he has told you bluntly, he does NOT want to marry you.

Best wishes xx

Post # 9
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Girl,  move on.

It’s not that he isn’t sure about you. It’s that he is sure about you–he’s sure you’re NOT the one. Men don’t say that unless they’re REALLY, REALLY sure.

If you continue in this relationship, you’re going to waste your time and get your heart broken, and you deserve a lot better than that.

Post # 10
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Is this a semi-arranged marriage?  Did you meet on a matrimonial site by any chance?

Post # 11
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I knkow it’s painful, but he doesn’t want to marry you. He likes you, he may even love you, but marriages need more than love to be successful. For whatever reason, you aren’t the person for him. There is nothing *wrong* with you. You just aren’t the *right* person for *him*. There is someone else out there who will not only love you, but also want to marry you.

You have built up many dreams about him and your life together. Break up with him, but take time to mourn the loss of the dream.

Also, don’t go into “I just have to figure out what is wrong with me and fix it, then everything will be okay” mode. (Read the book ‘He’s just not that into you’) When you are with the right person, you won’t have to ‘fix’ anything. He will love you for who you are, just the way you are.

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