(Closed) My boyfriend wants to postponed his proposal :(

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Wait, or decide you don’t want to wait and find someone who wants to get engaged. 

Post # 3
Member
2969 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

e11a:  He sounds very immature and it could be because he is very young. I feel like a decision like that isn’t something you joke around about or keep changing your mind about.

It’s pretty cruel of him to be playing these games with you and telling you one thing and then changing it after. No wonder you are confused and a little deflated. My reaction would be the opposite, I would be FURIOUS.

I think you need to talk to him seriously- like all joking aside- and you both need to get on the same page because otherwise you will end up letting this eat at you and it will ruin your relationship. If you are already waiting on a proposal, there is no way in hell you are going to wait til 2017 or 2018 without losing your shit.

Post # 4
Member
2573 posts
Sugar bee

I have never heard of a proposal plan that was 3 years in advance. Who knows where you will be in 3 years??

By your response there might be a new guy by then who knows?

Post # 5
Member
5188 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Awww geez that’s just silly. Proposing but saying you don’t want to get married for 4 more years because you want to (finish school, establish a career, buy a home, etc…) is sensible. Planning only a proposal for several years down the road is something I heard from more than one high school boyfriend. Don’t hold your breath OP.

Post # 6
Member
2573 posts
Sugar bee

Aquaria:  Agreed I don’t even know if I would take that answer seriously.

Post # 7
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Tell him he better propose soon or you will find someone who is more worthy of your time. Time is money and he is wasting it.

Post # 8
Member
3541 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

25 is still a young age to get engaged.  I know you guys have been together a long time, but you are very young.  Enjoy your time together being young and dating; enjoy each other!

Aquaria:  My favorite is the engaged to get engaged.

Post # 9
Member
5188 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

heputaringonit:  I know. What’s up with that “I want to be married to you but I’m not asking you to marry me”?

Post # 10
Member
2573 posts
Sugar bee

 

heputaringonit:   Only on the Bee, in the real world engaged to be engaged means dating

Or if your in High School it means your bf got you a sweet promise ring

Post # 11
Member
3541 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

sway0060:  Lol I agree!  I had a 25 year old female friend and her boyfriend tried that on her.  I mentioned it to my bf at the time and he just busted up laughing!

Post # 12
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I agree with some others who point out that 25 is young to be engaged. However, your relationship is yours. And you have been dating for awhile. (I’m assuming you’re 24 now.) 

I had to have a serious hearty-to-heart with my guy when we reached that point of “where is this going?” And I was honest about marriage and what it meant to me and what I expected. i would recommend that. But be prepared to give him time to think and be honest with yourself on what you expect and will be happy settling with. Yall might need to compromise. 🙂 good luck! everything will fall into place. 

Post # 13
Member
2255 posts
Buzzing bee

I thought in your other thread, you said he told you he was going to propose in two years on your birthday? Now it’s three years and he’s bumping it to four? This just all seems like faraway ‘what-ifs’ talk. I don’t think he’s making serious plans to be honest. It sounds like he’s just talking in generalities for a possible future. I think you’re so amped up to be engaged that you want it to be more than just him joking around. Not what you want to hear, I’m sure, but that’s my impression. 

Post # 14
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I always want to be married well before my late twenty’s if anything I feel 25 is too late I don’t think your being unreasonable, maybe he’s not the one, leaving so long to wait wont make him surer just seems crazy talk he’s not serious about marrying you maybe he’s just stringing you along like he thinks he never wants to marry or to find better. You need to have a serious talk.

Post # 15
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m estimating from your post that you’re around 22 years old and have been together around two years. If I were you I would just enjoy your relationship as it is and see how it plays out. That doesn’t mean I think you won’t/shouldn’t marry your bf, but I think worrying about a engagement being four years away vs three years away is a little silly. I hope it works out.

Also–you don’t need a 2 year engagement to plan a wedding, so don’t worry about that. My fiance and I are having a 6 month engagement and had no problems finding a venue or planning anything. 🙂

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