- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I’m starting to get over this, but thought I’d have a rant to everyone out there about my boyfriend’s coniving ex! (We, as girls, know what other girls can be like!!) >:(
The thing is, I do feel a bit sorry for this girl, whom I shall call L. She is in her 30’s and was with my boyfriend for 3 years, but bear in mind they broke up 3 YEARS AGO. She wanted to marry him, but he supposedly just said “no”, and that he only saw her as a friend. In the last year of dating, they apparently didn’t have sex because she refused to be intimate with him. She also treated him like a child.
Anyway, me and the boyfriend have been dating a year, but it’s one of those situations where you just know he’s the One! I fancy him, love him and he’s also one of my best friends. I can tell him anything.
However, a few months ago (November) he left his Facebook on. I know I shouldn’t have snooped, but I found messages between them throughout our entire relationship. Not only that, but they met up behind my back. I was so heartbroken to read these. Funnily enough, just as we began dating and became “Facebook official”, the messages then started coming.
First of all, it was to ask if she could have her keys back for the flat they shared, as she was getting a new flatmate. So he then went and dropped them off (that I didn’t mind, I just don’t know why it had to be a secret). Then she’d send him things like, “I’m going on holiday, can you come and see me before I go?”, “Really missing you and needing a chat”, “I love you xxx”, blah blah blah. He didn’t reply and then she said, “excuse me mr., you’re being a coward by not replying”. He said he didn’t want to hurt my feelings by calling her, but had dialled the number then hung up a few times.
I’d never even spoken about her or even knew much about her until this point, but she said “Oh, I would call, I just don’t want you to get into any trouble…” – I never had a problem in the first place because I didn’t know they were talking?!! She would continually write about her so-called ‘problems’, how she missed my boyfriend, etc etc, and he’d reply, giving her what she wanted, and telling her how special she is – i.e, attention.
What really upset me was when he wrote, “it was hard seeing you the other day, L. I will always have feelings for you and be bound to that emotion”. Knowing they met up behind my back was so hurtful because obviously, I would have wanted to know what was said. It broke my heart.
Then her grandmother died. Let me assure you, she has a MASSIVE family who would’ve been there during that horrible time. But she sent him an email saying “my nan died last night, you were the first person I thought of. can we meet up?”. BOLLOCKS WAS HE!!! But he went and met up with her then too. I just felt mocked, especially by her, who I’m sure was loving it. He even called her the same pet names as me. 🙁
I was livid, promptly broke up with him and told him to get fucked, and sent her an e-mail telling her she needed to move on because she was coming across as desperate. She sent me a message saying I was immature, that I was blind to see she only saw him as a friend (hmm, yeah) and that she “really wanted to be friends with me”. Ermmm – not being funny, but I can’t really say most exes and present girlfriends would choose outright to be friends with one another.
I have NO problem with my boyfriend having female friends. He insists he doesn’t see her in THAT kind-of way, although let’s be honest, the same can’t be said back. One of them deleted eachother off Facebook which I was happy about and as far as I’m aware, they’re not talking. (Although he weirdly still has her number on her phone). Apparently she would tell him things like “I want to die” which made him feel bad and that he had to be nice to her. I told him she’s not his problem anymore. How can she ever fulfil her dream of having marriage and kids if he keeps replying and leading her on?
My boyfriend is keen to get engaged to me, keeps asking what ring I want and I’ve tried very hard to forget the things I read. But I’ve told him that the trust just isn’t there yet.
What would you do?