(Closed) My boyfriend’s brother got engaged last night..

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I know it might seem tough right now, but try to be cordial and excited for his brother. You might not like her, but you don’t have to marry her ;). My best advice is to treat others like you’d want to be treated. It won’t be the only thing people will talk about!

Post # 4
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MichiganGirl24:  If you get to see her ring, I’d say something to your SO like, “ooo I love xyz about that ring…” or “that’s not my style at all!”

Post # 5
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

@love108: Haha, great way to spin it into a way to get your bf to start thinking about putting one on your finger!  

I think really it’s hard, but you have to smile and congratulate them.  You don’t have to gush about it.  I’m sure someone else has something to talk about, and if all else fails, talking about the food is always good.

Or you could be that person that asks the annoying questions that no one really has an answer to immediately, like “what are your colors?” or “how many people are you inviting” or “what is your theme” even “how long will you wait to have kids?”  

Post # 7
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It is so difficult to be really excited for someone when all you can think about is how you’re not engaged yet. I’ve had a lot of friends get engaged recently and I am still waiting so I have to work hard to not compare myself to them. Everyone has a different story and a different path to get there. It will probably make your SO think more about proposing though. Two of my BFs close friends have gotten engaged/married recently and so it has been interesting for us because it’s given us a chance to talk about marriage more.

Post # 8
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

I’ve been in your shoes before. its tough, all you can do is congratulate them and be polite.

Just stay away from them at Christmas (not in a mean way) but if you talk to other people away from them, there will be a lot of other conversations not involving weddings..

 

Post # 9
Member
4477 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

enjoy the food.

 

j/p, I know how you feel.  Just remember that their engagement has nothing to do w/your relationship.

Post # 10
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

also, if you start to get upset or something, just excuse yourself and go for a quick walk, or take a few minutes to yourself somewhere quiet. it really is helpful.

Post # 11
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

LOL when i first read love108 comment I thought you said to tell HER that its not your style! LOL I was like whoa whoa…

Post # 12
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would try to be friendly and congratulate them.  Then, if you prefer, excuse yourself from the wedding talk.  After the initial gushing, I would say everyone will start to talk about something else.  When it is your time, you will be the one who gets gushed over, so just try to imagine yourself in her shoes.  Everyone should be able to have their special moments post engagement and just try to be genuinely happy for your brother even if you dislike his fiancee.  I agree that maybe this will get your bf thinking of your own engagement 🙂

Post # 13
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Ha! I love the comment PP said about asking what her colors will be! hehehe. Innocent

Definitely congratulate but also, maybe use it as a chance to talk to your SO about engagements, parties, weddings, etc.

Post # 14
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Talk wedding plans with her! That’s common ground. But that sounds so frustrating…

Post # 15
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Marcie2222: Hahaa no nooooooooooo play nice !

Post # 16
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Just smile. Although I love my friends dearly, I get this sting of jealousy when it’s not me. I truly am happy for them and wish them nothing but the best, but it’s hard when your waiting for the ring to be estatic everytime someone gets engaged. It’s even harder when you dont like the girl who just got engaged 😉  Be genuinely happy for her, your boyfriend will notice the excitement on your part and might push him to start thinking rings too 🙂

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