(Closed) My boyfriend’s brother got engaged last night..

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I know how hard it is especially when ur not so found of the girlfriend. I have found it much easier to deal with if you jump right in on the question asking. It can give you good ideas for yourself when your time comes and it’s just fun to talk wedding!Good Luck!

Post # 18
Member
757 posts
Busy bee

I know exactly what you are going through.  A couple weeks ago my brother proposed, and I’m not her biggest fan.  Christmas is going to be rough, having to hear her talk about her wedding, while I’m still waiting.  I’ve been trying to be happy for them, but it is very difficult…. My SO has been very good about it all and trying to help me stay positive.  

Post # 19
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I know exactly how you feel! My FI’s brother (younger brother) proposed to his gf in April and I was happy for them, but also jealous because I wanted to be engaged and also didn’t like the girl much. Either way I was happy for them and told my Fiance (BF at the time) that I was happy for them but upset that we were not engaged yet. I was just totally honest with him – and in the end I can only laugh because he propsed a couple months later in July and little did I know he asked my Dad for his approval in January (Dad was going in for heart surgery so he asked early just in case something went wrong), so the whole time I’m whinning he knew he was going to ask me in July and was in the process of purchasing the ring while I was complaining. I think its a great opportunity to talk to him and drop some hints 🙂

Only thing I can say to make it less of a pukefest is that since his bro propsed first now your SO has the opportunity to get you a bigger better ring, muahahaha.

Post # 20
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

When my brother proposed to his gf of one year it crushed me. But, then I looked at it from her perspective. She is older than me, and wants kids. She is the kind of girl who would may walked after one year if he didn’t put a ring on it as well. So I’m glad he found his future wife, and she is really a great girl. I’m really lucky to finally be gaining a sister!

I know it sucks, and it really hard. Just try to be happy for them, and if you can find some wine!

Post # 23
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I know the situation was probably tough for you but jealousy is something that only comes back to hurt you.  You have to ask yourself, if you were engaged or married already, would it be easier to like her? Maybe it’s not her that you don’t like but more the fact that she’s engaged first..  It will take sometime but hopefully you will be able to celebrate with them and then we you are engaged, she’ll return the courtesy.

Post # 24
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with all the people reccommending to say as little as possible and excuse yourself if you think you can’t contain.

I wouldn’t, however comment on the ring other than saying that it’s beautiful.

The other thing that might help you is to remind yourself that within relationships, no one quite understands what goes on, how it works or why. There’s people dating one another that I totally despise. But it’s not my job to condemn or condone them for being being in love.

Just as there might be some people who don’t approve of, understand or like your relationship with your boyfriend, you might think this girl is wrong for your boyfriend’s brother. But if you don’t know either of them inside and out and how their relationship works, you can’t really have a say.

I know you’ll be jealous. When my SO’s brother got engaged to his girlfriend of 2+ years I knew it would just be a big delay in US getting married! It’s dissappointing. I can’t offer advice on that specific sting…but I know how it feels.

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