(Closed) My boyfriend's family hates me

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
7552 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think you should walk away from this relationship, spend some time being single, and learn how to solve conflicts without shutting down and going silent. 

Post # 4
Member
4403 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

It really sounds like you’re not open to any kind of constructive criticism. 

Post # 6
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Holy F***ing Hell.

That was the longest bunch of nonsense I have ever read in my entire life. The immaturity…the rudeness…the yelling…. I am literally just beside myself here.

I have one word for all of you. Counseling. 

Actually here’s another. Breakup. 

I have a headache. 😕

Post # 7
Member
4008 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I think you need to grow the hell up. How do you expect posters to help you if you are all passive aggressive in your post towards people here before you even finish your post? You automatically have your defenses up for no reason and that’s very off putting. If you’re like that in person it’s very obvious why your boyfriend’s family isn’t the fondest of you. It sounds like you and your boyfriend are incredibly immature. This sounds like something a teenage would write. You’re both in the wrong and this whole dynamic sounds like a mess. But you’ve already dismissed one poster’s opinion so I’m sure you’ll dismiss mine too. Good luck to you. 

Post # 8
Member
7552 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
mrsthomas2017 :  five days ago or so, your boyfriend left you. It’s a really unhealthy relationship and neither of you have the communication or coping skills to make it work. You want to find a way to fix his family but that won’t fix your relationship. Seriously, I know it’s hard to walk away but if you don’t, you’re just going to be stuck in the same cycle of drama forever. 

Post # 10
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You’re the one whose fiancé threw the ring down and blocked on Facebook? Oh I get it now. NEXT.

Post # 11
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Have they straight up told him they hate you? Hate is a strong word, and a strong emotion that takes a lot of energy. 

It looks like you guys broke up less than 2 weeks ago, and now you are trying to work things out, so it’s understandable that his family is not jumping to include you. You broke off an engagement less than two weeks ago! They probably don’t know what’s going on with you guys, and are waiting to feel out the situation. Even if he said “we’re back together” they are probably thinking “yeah ok buddy you just dumped her over a silly little fight. We’re going to wait a minute to see if you’re serious about working out these problems”. You are calling him boyfriend now, so does that mean you guys agreed to put the engagement on hold and work on your relationship?

I’m curious what your ages are? And if either of you have ever dated other people? It sounds from your other posts like he still lives at home, and that his family is not ready to “let him go” since they picked a fight over him changing congregations. There might always be tension with your inlaws– you said his married sister is over there every week, so it sounds like they assumed after you were married that you would join their church, and that you would also be over there every week. That expectation might never go away, and you might never fit in — BUT lots of people do not fit in or get along with their in laws. If both you and your BF can understand and accept that, and if everyone can be polite and civil , then things will be fine. 

You might consider putting less energy into his family for the time being. I also think you guys should consider one of those “pre mariage” counseling groups or programs many churches offer because it sounds like you do not have good conflict resolution in your relationship. 

Post # 13
Member
325 posts
Helper bee

Wow, the first paragraph was extremely childish. No one in a relationship should act like that. If you’re mad at each other, it’s called talking. I won’t comment on your boyfriend’s family there’s not much you can do to change their opinion but what you and your boyfriend can do is learn how to speak to each other when you’re upset. Petty fights happen I get it but the way you two are acting is just childish. 

Post # 14
Member
5362 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

I couldn’t even finish this… 

Are y’all 17?!

Post # 15
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

I couldn’t finish this either…

From what I did read you both need to grow up. 

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