(Closed) My Bridal Shower That Went Wrong (just need to vent)

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I am so sorry you are going through this! What a pain! The last thing you need!

Sounds like this bridesmaid isn’t going to be any help!

I don’t have any good advice, except to try to keep your chin up. You are on the home stretch!!


Post # 4
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Given the fact that you are only a month shy of the wedding, I have to agree with your Mother.  It might not be the best advice, but that’s what I would do.  I would however, tear her a new one after the wedding.  Again, this is not exactly sound advice.  I don’t understand why she said that though.  Where does the fakeness come in?  You were concerned for your grandmother and saying goodbye to your guests.  I think most people would do the same.  

Post # 5
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Personally, I would say “see ya” to both of them. Especially if you confront the issue and both of them end up going nuts, just say “Look. I don’t want any drama surrounding that day and if you are saying or even thinking negative thoughts like that about me, then I don’t need you to be by my side.” I can’t believe they would stoop so low as to say you don’t care that your grandma was so sick! That is just insane. If they paid for their dresses already, I’d just pay them back just simply to keep them away.

I know to do that you would have to have nerves of steel and not break down, but you don’t need this. And it sounds like they don’t truly even care if they couldn’t have saved up squat for you this whole entire time.

Sorry lol this stuff gets me heated. People like this get me so irritated because they are just so inconsiderate and rude. Keep us posted on what happens! Good luck *hugs*

Post # 7
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Um fake? Why in the world would she say that? Thats a bit weird, if anybody said that to my Fiance about me I swear I would not let it go and he wouldnt either. Thats such a mean thing to do sorry you are going through this, glad your grandmother is ok

Post # 8
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

Glad your Grandmother is OK! I’m normally a big advocate of having family members in the bridal party, as friends come and go,but in this case,I’d have to say I agree with removing them. No doubt it will create even more family drama, but its better to get it over with than worry the whole time or be annoyed on the days leading up to your wedding.

Maybe sleep on it for a few days before you decide. Good luck!

Post # 9
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Weird, I wonder why she would think you are being fake?  ESPECIALLY about the Grandma issue?!  Have you had issues in the past, or could she be jealous?  I think as horrible as it will be, you should just talk to her as little as possible and deal with her being in the wedding, and then after the wedding just cut it off.  Let her know that everyone told you how she was saying things behind your back.

Post # 11
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Honestly I would kick her out, and if her other sister goes so be it. They haven’t bought their dresses so wouldn’t “owe” them anything. I wouldn’t even have them be at the wedding. Your BMZERO is the one being fake, and you really don’t need or want those kind of people around you on your wedding day. Or in your life in general… but with this advice be prepared for cutting them from your life all together. Weddings make crazy people even crazier. I have no idea why, but that is the fact of weddings.

Post # 12
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

This is tough, because I can see it going one of two ways.

You either kick them out now and have the potential of them being total brats at the wedding & trying to have a pity party b/c the big bad bride was mean to them…Or, keep them and have the potential of them stiring crap on your big day…I feel for you!!!

What I would do is keep them on & try your best to keep your distance. Maybe give them “special” tasks that will keep them/her out of your hair on your wedding day. Have them sit far from you & your husband, and just do your best to ignore.

Post # 13
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

LOL, I think you can get a lot of revenge on these two.  What I’m about to suggest is in no way nice, and won’t secure a good relationship with them.  But hey, if you’re cutting ties, you may as well do it with dynomite, right?

I would keep them on as BMs.  I would ignore their very existence until the day of the wedding.  When you see them for the first time, make some comment like “Is that how you’re wearing your hair?”  Then tell them, it’s ok, it looks “good enough.”  At the reception, give your Maid/Matron of Honor her gift.  In front of them.  Make a HUGE deal out of it.  When they look at you strange or ask where their gifts are say something like “Oh, I didn’t want to come off as fake, so I just got you what you deserved…nothing.”  Proceed to watch them lose it.  Enjoy the moment.  (This may work best if it happens at the very end after the cake cutting.  Because then they can’t ruin anything…)  You may also think about making a toast to the people who have stood by you and really helped you prepare for the wedding and how amazing they are: Mom, Dad, Grandma, Maid/Matron of Honor, and (now) Darling Husband.  Leave them out.  Make sure you make eye contact when you do this.

If you do all that, you can be sure to have made enemies for life, so if you’re not sure you want to cut ties with them, don’t do it.  But if they are toxic friends who are always going to be snarky behind your back, you’ll only drive yourself crazy wondering why.  It probably has ZERO to do with you and everything to do with them being jealous.  Whatev.

Post # 14
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Agree with @Teaserama and Im glad your grandma is ok!!

Post # 15
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I really think you need to eliminate this kind of negativity from your wedding day.  Anyone that speaks that way about you does NOT deserve to stand next to you while you marry the love of your life.  And honestly, this is your WEDDING.  I don’t think you should have to “just deal” with anything that you can fix.  And if you’re going to cut ties after your wedding, as you indicated, do you really want to look back at your wedding photos and see her face smiling fakely back at you?  I would cut Zero Bridesmaid or Best Man and if Little Help Bridesmaid or Best Man follows her, so be it.  You’ll be happier in the end.  I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.  

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