@arenyth and @miss chapstick
I just want to say, your post struck a cord. My “Best Friend” and I are no longer friends due to a similar circumstance, but my story is a little worse.
My Husband and I, whom already had a two year old before getting married, were recently married on 5/4/13. My Best friend (also supposed to be my Bridesmaid) who got engaged 6 months after me, wound up booking her wedding in MEXICO (where we were Honeymooning), three weeks before our wedding. Bear in mind, her now Husband is my Neighbor, I intorduced the two of them, so they live across the street.
At first, I was so excited when she got engaged. She asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, I was honored. Months and months passed by, after we already booked our wedding, and she drops the bomb that she booked her wedding exactly three weeks before mine, in Mexico (like I said before, this is where we had our honeymoon). I tried to take it in stride, but on the inside I was upset. I tastefully declined being in her wedding, knowing we couldn’t financially do it, we couldn’t get the extra time off work when we needed time off for our own wedding and honeymoon, and we have a small child. She seemed disappointed, but said she understood. I told her if she couldn’t be a Bridesmaid in my wedding, I would understand. She insisted she was still in.
Everything was OK for the months leading up to our weddings, until she started to bail on me. Long story short, she wound up screweing me with my Bridesmaids dresses by failing to put her deposit in or going to get measured. We couldn’t put the order in until ALL the girls deposits and measurements were in, and I waited for her. This caused me to pay $90 extra per dress to have the other 7 dresses rushed and left my Bridesmaids to scramble from long distances to get altered and have the dresses ready by the wedding day.
Back to my “friend”. My Maid/Matron of Honor started arranging my bachelorette party. My “best friend” acted very exited and even asked us to make it early (not her wedding weekend) so she can come. So my Maid/Matron of Honor booked the party (6 weeks before my wedding, per the previous request) and gave a deposit. My Maid/Matron of Honor sent a group message to all the BMs to confirm final head count and then “best friend” sent a group message saying, “sorry, I can’t make it :(“. No attempt to reach out to me directly, and no explanation. She actually backed out’ve my bachelorette party, in a group message. This left me to have to text her to see what the deal was, because at this point, she still had not done or said anything about the dress either!
she wound up giving me the hint that she was dropping out’ve the bridal party because she was “broke and had too much on her plate”….WELL, understandable. I mean, you did booke your wedding three weeks before mine, in another country! Anyway, fine. I said once again, I understood.
I then receive an email shortly after from the person planning HER bachelorette party, asking me to attend. At this point…there was no way in hell I was paying to go on her’s when she now dropped out’ve my bridal party and bachelorette party, asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor thenbooked her wedding three weeks before mine in my honeymoon destination, and screwed me over with having to pay to rush my girls dresses . Hey, I was strapped for cash too!! I sent her an email, and in a mature way, told her how I felt. She came back very defensive and sarcastic, and actually victimized herself.
At that point, My Mother had already sent out my Bridal Shower invites, so she had already gotten it. She texted ME last minute that, surprise surprise, she couldn’t come because her Fiance’s Brother was taking them on a trip that weekend (why was she responding to the RSVP to me? My Mother was giving the shower. Had it been a surprise, the surprise would surely have been ruined). My response was “GREAT, HAVE A BLAST”. I had nothing to say, I was done. The kicker is, the trip was postponed, yet she still didn’t attempt to attend my bridal shower or call. She gave a $100 gift towards my registry which in all honesty, insulted me and was a cop out.
By this time I was sending my wedding invites out, and we did not invite them. Sad a friendship that was like a “sisterhood” went down the drain because someone’s selfishness and what I believe to be spite and jealousy. I was proud to have introduced them, and now feel kicked in the gut and don’t thing highly of this girl at all. Not to mention, I avoid seeing her at all costs even though they live across the street! The real funny part is, my Husband and her’s go to the gym together everynight, so things do get awkward!
I do undertsnad where you’re coming from. Hopefully in your case, your friend has no ill intentions!