- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I love all my bridesmaids dearly, but recently one of my bridesmaids doesn’t seem to be fully in it. I know she’s going through a lot so my heart really goes out to her. A couple weeks after I asked her to be a bridesmaid she called and said she was going on a trip for about 3 months. Then later she said she wasn’t going anymore. Now she says she’s moving really far away. These things are fine, but I got this weird sensation that she just wasn’t fully in on being a bridesmaid. So I simply told her that I love her and said it really is her decision to be a bridesmaid. She started crying and thanked me so much for putting her first and giving her the free choice. Which was great! I was really happy for her that that burden was lifted. But now, I have no idea if she’s going to be a bridesmaid or not! She hasn’t actually given me an answer. I did ask her if she wanted to be one after that conversation and she said she did, she just doesn’t know where her life is going. Again, I get that. But I’m concerned she’s going to turn around and say “sorry I can’t be one”. What do I do?
I want to set-up a date to sit down and chat with her and make sure everything’s okay in her life. I do sense she’s going through alot, at the same time…it’s stressing me out. I can’t go on with the bridesmaid dresses and if she’s not going to be one I seriously need to pick someone else! I was really excited to have her, but because of her lack of heart in it I am now feeling it more a burden than exciting. I just want to see her happy again. I feel like she’s trapped being a bridesmaid because she’s afraid of hurting me and I feel trapped keeping her as one because I never want to let a bridesmaid go. But if this is what she wants, how do I tell her that I am truly okay with it? (Assuming I am reading her correctly).
Anyway, I wouldn’t mind some wise advice at the moment. I just really want her to know that I truly love her and adore her. I also believe it’s not the be end all whether or not she’s a bridesmaid. I DO have someone else in mind who would be a INCREDIBLE bridesmaid! And she’s been helping and so excited for me the entire time. She would be perfect.
Please let me know if you’ve ever had a similar situation. What did you do?