(Closed) My bridesmaid dropped out :( (looooong)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You know what? you don’t need a friend like that. If you agree to be in someone’s wedding, the least you can do is reply to their email from 6 months ago! 

Post # 4
Member
1299 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

She sounds immature.  If it makes you feel any better my Maid of honor dropped out with three months to go, and we were best friends for years.  She cited a bunch of reasons too, and I told her if that was what she wanted then thats what I wanted for her.  Your girl knew full well she would have to buy a dress she probably wouldnt wear again, as thats how most weddings go.  I agree with cupcake and say good riddance and move on.  This was probably a blessing in disguise, as this way you wont have even more issues with her when she doesnt get her way.

Post # 5
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

She is being a brat, sorry. She’s mad that you’re making her buy a dress? Those dresses sound VERY affordable for almost any budget and I’m sorry, but when you agree to be a bridesmaid, you agree to things like buying a dress, helping out with the planning, etc. She has no right to complain. Sounds like they have sore butts about a joke that meant nothing and now she’s pulling reasons out of the air because there is no LEGITIMATE reason to be upset.

I feel for you and your Fiance but honestly, you can find better friends. That is childish and you’ve apologized more times that I would have.

Post # 6
Member
6742 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think you’re better off, honestly.  They don’t sound like people who make you better people or make your lives any better.  She’s stupid and childish.  If something bothers you, you need to put your big girl panties on and say it yourself – don’t run to your boyfriend/husband/dad or whatever and have someone else say it for you.  Honestly, I’m pissed for you.  But at the same time, I think it’s better this way.  While I’m sure there are 2 sides to every story, this seems kind of ridiculous.  I also don’t believe that Jeff’s friend of a friend makes over $300k by some internet retail thing – you’re right, it does sound like a pyramid scheme.  Bottom line is – don’t be upset.  Time to put this behind you and move forward. 

Post # 9
Member
6742 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@anenglish15:  You should be mad!  Eff that couple, seriously.  Sometimes it’s a good idea to cleanse your life of people who aren’t doing anything for you – looks like that time is here for you 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Aw I feel sorry for Joan. Let me tell you this- living with an alcoholic is a special kind of hell. It’s like one step forwards two steps back. Seems pretty clear to me that Joan is avoiding the issue by deflecting all the blame to you and your Fiance. I would bet their marriage has been rocky (dealing with alcoholism) and they have bonded over blaming you and your Fiance for a multitude of ridiculous and untrue reasons. Is it fair? No, and it won’t last. It will quickly become obvious where the problem really lies. But right now banding together with her husband and blaming an outside party is offering her a temporary respite from marital issues and she’s jumping on it.

There’s nothing you can do. Don’t apologize anymore cause its not about anything you did. You’re being scapegoated because Joan desperately wants to believe the problem is you and not Jeff. Much easier to cut out a casual friend than a husband.

Post # 12
Member
3141 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@anenglish15:  sorry but Joan is not your friend. be happy that you have these toxic people gone from your life. If the friendship was on such tenuous strings that one comment could break them, then you don’t need them in your life. 

Post # 13
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@anenglish15:  

you gave this friend more opportunities to communicate her feelings/thoughts to you and she just ignored you. 

you really did not do anything wrong. 

I think Joan may have something else going on that she is not telling you. My advice: if she does not want to be part of the bridal party and not your friend, let her go. It is not worth it. 

 

 

Post # 14
Member
433 posts
Helper bee

@anenglish15:  

First of all, it obviously IS a pyramid scheme.  I could see that the second you mentioned him asking your Fiance to invest money, never mind the internet retail business, plus the imaginary friend making $330000.  Please.

 

Second of all, they sound like they aren’t very good friends.  Sorry you have to deal with this and I’m sure you’re sad right now, but in the end you will be better off without “friends” like that.

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