- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
I really don’t understand why I’m being so emotional about this. I had a coworker at my old job (let’s call her Joan) and her husband (call him Jeff) became really close friends with my Fiance. Since Fiance and Jeff were such good friends, we would hang out all 4 of us quite often. Since we were getting closer, I asked Joan to be in the wedding since Fiance wanted Jeff to be a groomsmen. They both agreed and it was great.
Side note: Joan and I are not THAT close and she’s the type of person that doesn’t really express her feelings. She kinda keeps to herself and if she’s mad about something (in ALL of her relationships) she just steams about it. Also, Jeff has a pretty serious drinking problem. He’s always had a drinking problem. Joan would complain about it before Jeff and my Fiance even started hanging out.
Anyway.. the other day Jeff mentions to Fiance that he has some business meeting on Sunday. He also said its too bad Fiance is saving for the money, other Jeff would ask him to INVEST MONEY. When I asked Jeff what it was, Jeff said it was really hard to explain, but it’s some internet retail thing and his friends friend makes $330,000 a year. That was all he said. So then I made a joke and said “sounds like a pyramid scheme to me!” hahah. Well, Jeff got MAD. And defensive. I was honestly kidding… what else was I to think when that’s all he said about it? That was Friday.
On Saturday I posted a bunch of bridesmaid dresses on my FB asking the girls to pick which ones they liked and order them. The wedding is in July and the girls were asked 6+ months ago. Joan was the only one that didn’t reply. I texted her Saturday night saying “did you see the dresses I posted? also, are we still on for brooch shopping tomorrow?” She didn’t respond. We’re doing craft night later in the month and Joan had said she was free, but also free this upcoming weekend and we should go brooch shopping. It was completely her idea and I agreed.
So Sunday I facebooked her the dress I wanted her to wear (since she never responded and didn’t pick) and asked her to purchase the dress. She responded Monday saying it was cute, but didn’t have her size. Then I found two other dresses and sent them to her so she can decide. They were about $50-60 price range. No response.
I then texted her asking if she’s mad about the joke I made to Jeff (she wasn’t there). And no response. Fiance talked to Jeff today and Jeff says him and Joan talked and decided that we can’t be friends anymore. Jeff said Joan was upset cause I was forcing her to buy a dress she’d never wear again and all the ones I was picking made her feel insecure about her knees. I don’t know what’s wrong with her knees, but apparently she doesn’t like them?? I wouldn’t know because she NEVER told me any of this. I’m doing the popular mismatched blush dresses, so I personally think all the dresses I have picked are able to be worn again. Besides, it’s only $50-60. She just got a $3 raise and I KNOW money is not the issue. She said to Jeff that I only want her help with wedding stuff and that’s all we do. Okay Bees, I’m not trying to be one sided here, but the only thing she has helped with is shopping with me for brooches. There are plenty of crafts I have done alone. I’d rather it be that way cause then it’s how I want it, you know? I have NO IDEA what she’s talking about.
Joan also told Jeff that Fiance is a bad influence (the drinking). Which is total bull shit. Fiance will tell me all the time how Jeff is trying to get him to come over, but Fiance doesn’t want to cause Jeff will try to make him drink. Jeff has a problem, regardless if Fiance is there. Granted, Fiance and Jeff do drink more when they’re together, but I will NOT let Fiance be blamed for that. It’s a mutual thing.
So anyway.. I am just heart broken. I wasn’t even that close to Joan, but I feel REALLY bad for Fiance. Him and Jeff were (so we thought) very good friends. And it’s frustrating because Joan didn’t even say a WORD to me about ANY of this!!!! NOTHING. Didn’t even hint. It’s like.. how am I supposed to know and how am I supposed to fix things if you don’t express how you feel?! So I texted her today telling her I was sorry I made her feel that way and that I wish she would have just told me about the dresses. I would have GLADLY found longer ones for her that went below her knees! I also apologized for making the joke. I did tell her though that I was not going to let Fiance take all the blame for Jeff’s decisions. That was this morning. And I haven’t heard anything since.
She is being a coward and avoiding me. It’s just really hurtful. I feel like maybe I’m being dramatic, but she really hurt my feelings and totally blindsided me. She had Jeff do all of her talking. Why can’t she just come to me?! Instead, she goes to Jeff, who goes to Fiance, who tells me. It’s stupid. 🙁