(Closed) My Bridesmaid has chosen a bad dress!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3902 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@November2013:  You told her to pick whatever she liked…..she picked whatever she liked!!!Laughing

You cant undo it..without probably getting her really P.O’d!!!!

If it looks ok and fits her well…i’d just go with it and maybe tell your other bridesmaid to pick more bridesmaid type dresses too. That way it kind of themes up…it would probably look a little odd to have someone in a bridesmaid style dress and have someone else in a cocktail dress and then another Bridesmaid or Best Man in a fun little number!!

Post # 4
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you give your birdesmaids the opportunity to select their own dress…. you are opening the possibility of having ugly bm dresses at your wedding.


If it is a problem for you now, select a dress that all bm will wear.


I guess you brought this upon yourself lol


Post # 5
13292 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Unfortunately, you told her to pick her dress, and that’s just what she’s done.  Now you have to deal.

As for mismatched dresses with two BMs – personally, I think it will look strange, but I’m not a fan of this look at all to begin with!

Post # 6
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think that since you gave her the freedom to pick her own dress, you have to accept whatever she purchased, as long as it follows the guidelines you set.  I don’t think you can tell people to pick whatever dress they want, then say “wait that isn’t what I had in mind.” 

Did she already buy it?  Or did she tell you she is going to buy it?  If she hasnt bought it yet, maybe you can remind her that she has true freedom and doesn’t have to go with a traditional bridesmaid dress if she doesn’t want to — she is welcome to find something that she thinks she would wear again.  But if she already bought it, don’t bring it up.


Post # 7
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

You gave her the option, and she picked out something that was within budget and that she liked. I wouldn’t revoke that at this point. That would be really callous.

Post # 9
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@November2013:  I think that is definitely fine to tell her.  She may not have realized how much freedom she has which is why she picked a traditional bridesmaid dress.  But if she tells you that she really likes the dress she that showed you and wants to go with that one, then let it go.   

Post # 10
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

“basically I have offered a budget that I will pay and said she can pick anything as long as its long and within my fairly broad colour scheme.”

She picked what she wanted.

You allowed her to do so.

Deal with it.

If you did not want her to have X dress or Y style, you should have told her.

Post # 11
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

“…thinking she wouldvisit little boutique stores in her area and find something very individual”

She did choose something individual. Unfortunately, you feel it’s boring.

Can she wear a sash or a pashmina? A decorative flower?


I understand this may not have fit your expectations but may I ask why you are worried it’s boring? You understand most brides worry someone is upstaging her? It’s likely when she gets all made up and it comes together, it will all be ok. I’m positive you will just be excited she’s there for you on your big day. 🙂

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