(Closed) my bridesmaid has vanished!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

What a stressful time for her!  If I were you I would write her an email asking after her to make sure she is doing ok, and if she isn’t finished, maybe send her a little care package.  I wouldn’t mention any wedding stuff.  If you have time, I would offer to meet up for a coffee/writing break around where her parents live, so you can at least see her assuming she won’t be able to join in the celebrations. Working with her thesis deadline, I’m pretty sure she just has no energy to deal with anything else.  She might be avoiding our emails, trying to put off answering until she can tell you she’s done and able to come.  At least that’s the kind of thing I do when working towards major deadlines like that.  Hope you hear from her soon!

Post # 4
Member
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

A PHD?!    Those things can give you a stroke…finishing something like that up has potential to take a lot longer since it’s a big deal…give her a few more days, she’s probably doing some fine tuning, it’s going to be fine

Post # 5
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, I would imagine she’s just working like crazy and that finishing up will take longer than she thought.  My husband was “almost” finished with his dissertation for almost a year, and when I was writing mine, I ignored every single person in my life briefly.

Post # 7
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

@newname_99:  I didn’t mean to imply you just cared about the wedding, it was pretty clear in your first post you were concerned about her as a friend. I get your worry about seeming passive aggressive. That’s why I suggested you offer to do something for her if you can, whether taking her out to a cafe for a quick break or asking for her parents address so you can send a mini care package; if you take the focus off of your wedding completely, I think there is less risk of it coming off as passive aggressive. But I hope she resurfaces in time to see you before you leave!

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