- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Ugh. So this is unfortunately the second time this has happened to me. It makes me feel like I’m not very important to anyone.
When I first got engaged, I asked my sister to be Maid/Matron of Honor and my two best friends to be bridesmaids. I’ve been mutual best friends with one of them for about 8 years. The other I met in college and I thought we were pretty close. Well… some major shit happened in college and basically she just stopped speaking to me for 3 months. Then she randomly “apologized” and asked me to hang out with her and her friends (who used to be my friends). I later found out that was only so I’d come and feel awkward and not want to come back but she could still pretend she had apologized. So that was strike 1.
I’ve never had very many friends, and so when I met another friend in college who was also shy and introverted we really hit it off. She never flaked on me, not once, and we got together for weekly dinners. After six months we were very close and I asked her to be my bridesmaid and she said yes without hesitation.
After we graduated, she dropped off the face of the planet. She wouldn’t reply to my texts or emails for months. Finally she sent me a facebook message to tell me that she didn’t think she was going to be able to go because grad classes started that week and she didn’t have much money and no date. I offered to pay for all of her expenses, including her dress, and I found out she wouldn’t have actually missed any classes. I gave her time to think about it. I didn’t hear anything so I finally just asked her and she said she wasn’t coming.
I feel like crap. I feel like I suck at friendships and shouldn’t have asked her in the first place. I’m getting the impression that the only reason she isn’t coming is because she doesn’t have a date, and that makes me feel like I’m not worth very much to her. I would have gone to her wedding in a heart beat. Oh, and she refused to take a friend. She said it would be too weird. This just sucks. I’m not worried about sides matching or anything like that. I’m just not feeling like I’m very supported by my friends. I think only my sister and best friend will be coming to the bachelorette party. And I’m grateful to have them, I really am, but I just don’t want this to bring me down. Any advice?