- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
So brief background –
My sister and I are 4 years apart. We have NEVER been close. She made fun of me while I was growing up (making fun of my glass, acne, my personality). When I was a junior in highschool, my sister got involved with the wrong crowd. (Please don’t get me wrong, everyone makes their own choice, but my sister didn’t have any good friends in general.) Well she go involved in popping pain pills and just getting high and drunk alot!. During this period she met her now husband, she stopped doing alot of the pills and started to really get her act together. She had my a son a couple years later. After the birth of her son, I think she really was depressed about what having a kid entailed. Her friends didn’t invite her out as much (she would still spend some time partying) and she became depressed. She went on depression pills for awhile, but didn’t like how they made her feel. After that time, she started taking pain pills again. She would do anything for pain pills. She wasn’t happy at all unless she was high. About 2 1/2 years ago, after many fights with her no husband (they just married October of 2010) She went to the methadone clinic instead. The methadone clinics around here do not encourage coming off the drug, they would rather give you more of the drug, to keep you more dependant which means higher pay for them. She is still on the methadone and it totally screws her up. She falls sleep while she is having a conversation and will even fall asleep while standing holding her 2 month old baby. Essentially since my nephew who is 3 now was born, we have spent very little time together. We can go months without talking and it not bother either one of us. Keep in mind she lives like 15 minutes away. I actually work with my brother-in-law. Well last memorial day, I found out by facebook that my sister was pregnant with my other nephew. As well as she was suppose to get married in June of 2010, but she cancelled and rescheduled it for October – I was her maid of honor – and she didn’t tell me until like that august in which that weekend of her wedding I had to move out of my apartment. Well, I didn’t expect to be her maid of honor – there were days I didn’t want to be. My sister is soooo domineering towards me. Well I got engaged in Feb. and it has come time to ask bridesmaids/maid of honor – and I chose as my matron of honor – my best friend Desiree and as my maid of honor another really good friend Elizabeth. I followed with two good friends one from church, one from college. I had no desire to ask my sister. I know, I probably could have sat down and talked with her about why I didn’t want her. But anyone that deals with a drug addict – will know that they usually can not think clearly or understand other peoples issues with them. Well yesterday at work, my brother IMs me and asks me why my sister is not a bridesmaid – well I told him. I was honest with him. Well he told me that he had no answer to give my sister on why she wasn’t a bridesmaid – because if he told her exactly what I had written (essentially she is too domineering and is a addict) that my sister would have a fit. And that I would not be able to see my nephew because of the reason behind why I didn’t want her as my bridesmaid. Then my brother – in -law had the audacity to say that he wasn’t pleased with my decision – well first of all it is my wedding, and second if my sister has an issue she needs to talk to me. Well I told him I didn’t want to talk to him about it at work. He then continue to bug me. Well I balled my eyes out. My mom sees my side of the story, my dad does not. My dad thinks I should just ask her to be in the wedding – well no, she will have a breakdown and walk out the day of my wedding – or fall asleep during the ceremony. Well, this morning my sister sends me a text message that says. I think it’s pretty crappy you don’t want me to in your wedding – I want to know what I did wrong. I’m not trying to be a b*tch but I just want to know why. Before I could even reply she sent, Well, she sends another one, Well, maybe you have a good reason and I would love to know. I just need to know why cause it hurts. So I tell her that she is too domineering and that we are not even close. She’s like I guess I understand. And I would never control you on your wedding. (I never replied) And she sent another text – Well, it doesn’t hurt any less. Then 10 minutes later she sends me another message and says – well, it hurts that my baby sister doesn’t want me to stand up at her wedding.
Am I being a complete mean sister? Even one minus my dad understand the situation….