Post # 1
One of my bridesmaids just informed me that she is planning to change into a more comfortable dress for dancing around 9/10 pm at night once most photos are taken.
She has explained that she has more cleavage than she is comfortable with and feels that the floor length dresses may get too hot and may be difficult to dance in.
I’m hurt that she wants to change and strongly encouraged her to stay in her dress.
Am I being unreasonable? She told me the seamstress modified her dress as much as possible to make her breasts stick out less but she claims she still feels exposed and that her family thinks the dress doesn’t fit/look normal on her.
This is unfortunate for her but it is my special day.
Am I in the wrong for wanting her to stay in her dress or is she being self-centered?
Post # 2
I definitely don’t think you’re being unreasonable by wanting her to stay in her dress & I can see how it would hurt your feelings, but is there really any harm if she changes? 🙂
Like you mentioned, you will have already had all of the professional photos taken of the wedding party and she’ll be wearing it for the ceremony/majority of the day.. perhaps you could ask her if she could change into one that’s inkeeping with the colour scheme so it’s not TOO noticeable?
Post # 3
If it is past the pictures then let her change to dance. It sounds like she will be too selfconscience of her cleavage to fully enjoy the rest of the party. Besides, at that point of the night you really will not notice anyway.
Post # 4
It wasn’t even past the pictures when my father in law started to change from his suit. He ended up in really casual wear. He looked out of place but it’s not worth the hassle. Surely it’s better that they’re comfortable then they can actually enjoy your wedding.
Post # 5
I have to say, I don’t see the issue; I gave mine the option of changing for the reception as they wore long dresses and I figured it might be more comfortable to wear something shorter for dancing (esp as the dresses were hemmed for heels, and their heels came off in the evening). In the end they stayed in them,and yeah, it was nice for photos, but their comfort was more important to me than photos, and had any of them wanted to change it wouldn’t have been an issue.
Post # 6
I would go ahead and let her change if she’s uncomfortable with the dress, especially if it would be way past the pictures. I understand it’s your special day and you have a perfect vision of your wedding, but don’t you wish your own bridesmaid to be happy dancing and enjoying herself at your own wedding too? It’s not something that I would argue about with my own friend. Perhaps suggest she change into a dress that has the same shade as the BM dress.
Post # 7
I would let her change and would be angry with myself for making my friend wear a dress that she’s so uncomfortable with in the first place.
Post # 8
Your the one who chose an unflattering dress I presume, so I’d say wearing it for most of the day when she is uncomfortable with how it looks on her figure rather than telling you to choose a dress with more thought to the person than the overall aesthetic is already very good of her. Why do you want your friend to be uncomfortable so you can be a special snowflake
Post # 9
I think you’re being incredibly unreasonable. It may be your “special day” but that’s no reason for anyone to feel uncomfortable. She sounds like she’s trying to make things work by wearing it for the ceremony and pictures..so I see no reason to be hurt or upset by her changing after. I would encourage it especially if that person feels exposed.
Post # 10
I know traditionally the bride dictates what the bridesmaids wear but I gotta say, if your friend is uncomfortable for such a legitimate reason as personal modesty I wouldn’t make her wear the dress at all. Feeling exposed in front of a bunch of people sounds like a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on an enemy much less one of my best friends.
I presume from the date on your profile that your wedding is tomorrow so there’s no time to fix the dress, it’s unfortunate she didn’t tell you sooner, but honestly I’d tell her to do whatever will make her comfortable. Maybe wear a similar color t-shirt under the dress or a sweater over it? And yeah, let her change as soon as photos are done. Sorry you have to deal with this right before your wedding!
Post # 11
I’d have said try to get her a dress she feels comfortable in but if your wedding is tomorrow I guess it’s too late. Let her change. Honestly, you’ll be pulled in so many different directions you won’t notice half the things going on.
Post # 12
I think you’re being unreasonable. She is clearly uncomfortable in the dress but is wearing it until 9pm so you can get your pictures and she just wants to be comfortable and be able to enjoy dancing at your wedding. I wouldn’t even have chosen a dress that the Bridesmaid or Best Man felt that uncomfortable in in the first place but it’s too late to fix that now.
Post # 13
She said she is uncomfortable; just let her change. It sounds like it will be well into the night and you won’t even notice it at that point. Not worth pulling the “it’s my special day” card over something like this.
Post # 14
Yes, you’re being unreasonable. In fact you’re being unreasonable for expecting your friend to wear a dress she’s not comfortable in for any amount of time. I think the conversation here should be “let’s find you a dress that you feel great in all day and all night”, not “wear this uncomfortable dress and don’t change out of it”. I would feel so sad with myself if I chose the look of my wedding over a friends comfort. I hope at least your friend hasn’t had to pay for the “privelege” of wearing this uncomfortable dress and its alterations
Post # 15
Yes, I would absolutely let her change. I wouldn’t even give it a second thought.