(Closed) My bridesmaid wants to change into another dress…

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
3590 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Your friend feeling overexposed in the dress you selected should matter more than what she’s wearing after all the pictures and stuff are done. Why would you want her to spend the whole night feeling uncomfortable? I don’t think you’re being a very good friend to her by trying to make her stay in the dress and you should value her and your friendship with her enough to take her feelings about how she looks in the dress into consideration before declaring that your “vision” comes before all else.

Post # 17
Member
1419 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Am I the only one who wants to see this dress? OP, can you show us stock photo?

Post # 18
Member
7480 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
lisa8 :  “Am I being unreasonable? She told me the seamstress modified her dress as much as possible to make her breasts stick out less but she claims she still feels exposed and that her family thinks the dress doesn’t fit/look normal on her.

This is unfortunate for her but it is my special day.”

she’s expressed some very legitimate concerns about the dress. It’s her breasts, not yours, so you don’t get to decide if they are over-exposed or not. She does. That last sentence is awful. I hope you really don’t feel that way. It being your wedding day doesn’t mean you automatically get everything you want, even if it makes others uncomfortable.

 

Post # 19
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

Yes, I think you’re being unreasonable. She’ll be wearing the dress for your ceremony and most of your pictures. It sounds like she really doesn’t like the dress at all, but agreed to wear it because you’re her friend and she wants to make you happy. Why not let her be happy and comfortable for the last couple hours of the reception?

Post # 20
Member
7526 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes, you are being unreasonable, selfish and self centered. I would imagine that if she feels uncomfortable, she won’t dance. Would you rather your friend have fun or would you rather she miserably watches everyone dance because she doesn’t feel comfortable in her dress? If it’s the last option, you need to rethink why you asked her to be in your wedding party.

Post # 21
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

You’re being unreasonable. It’s not that serious and if it makes her feel more comfortable then you should be happy to accomodate her. Try your best not to make sure you control EVERYTHING. This is something that does not require your attention.

Post # 22
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Personally, I’d put the comfort of my bridesmaids above the “look” of the wedding, especially if she’s being gracious enough to keep it on until after pictures, despite her discomfort. Let her change for the reception so that she can be comfortable and have a good time. Yeah, it might be your day, but the goal is for everyone to have fun and celebrate.

Post # 23
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee

I’d let her change. I’d want my friends to be comfortable and have a great time. If that means changing, then by all means. 

If pictures are done, who cares?

Post # 24
Member
4241 posts
Honey bee

Why does it matter if the pictures are done? She expressed that she’s uncomfortable in the dress…do you just not care? 

Post # 25
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

You are being very unreasonable and uncaring.

I would feel terrible that I didn’t know before this that my bridesmaid felt uncomfortable in her dress. Judging from your attitude, though, I wouldn’t be surprised if you DID know but didn’t care.

This is your friend. You presumably chose her because you care about her and so want her to stand up with you on your wedding day. Why don’t you care about her now? How can her changing after the wedding photos possibly affect you?

It being “your day” doesn’t give you a free pass to be a jerk.

Post # 26
Member
2626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

If the pictures are done, it totally doesn’t matter.  She should be comfortable so that she can enjoy herself and dance.  It’s too late now, but you should never have made her wear a dress that she was uncomfortable in at all.  It isn’t your right to judge how much clevage she should have.

Post # 27
Member
7640 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
lisa8 :  You should never get a bridesmaid to dress in a way which she considers to be too revealing. I really hope you didn’t know that when the dresses were picked. Absolutely let her change.

Post # 28
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I have been that bridesmaid who has wanted to change.  I am a large cup size and I couldn’t find a bra in my size that worked underneath the dress the bride picked out.  So I had zero support the entire night, and there was no way I could dance without the dress falling down and my boobs popping out.  So I changed into a dress that was a similar color/style but that I could wear a bra in after she cut the cake.  In this case the bride was super understanding and encouraged it.  She is a classy person.

Why do you care if she changes after pictures are done???

Post # 29
Member
5020 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I think its more than fair that your bridesmaid be able to change into something more comfortable once most photos have been taken.  She wants to enjoy the day with you and dance away the night but cannot do that in the dress you have chosen for her.  She is being a good sport by wearing it for the majority of the night.

Post # 30
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 1997

Let her change out of the dress as soon as possible.  I’d also let my other bridesmaids know that she is changing, so they have that option too. If others change, then your self conscience friend will feel better.

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