Post # 1
So one of my Bridesmaids had a “great” idea the other day. She says to me that we need to hurry up and get “Bride” and “Bridesmaid” and “Groom” etc. T-shirts made. Well I’m figuring she means for the bachelor/bachelorette parties, or shower, or whatever.
Not even close.
She says to me that she thinks we should all be comfortable at the reception, so we need these shirts to change into. I’m left speechless; did she just tell me to change out of my over-my-budget wedding gown into a TEE SHIRT?
Trying to be nice (and figuring I must have misunderstood) I ask her, “For the wedding?” And one of the groomsmen pipes up about a stag he recently attended where they did that. So in relation to his comment I explain that my dress was a lot of money for me and I intend to wear it, and I’ve never heard of changing into t-shirts at a wedding itself. I was VERY nice about it, but the whole time I was thinking WTF?
Now rant aside, what the heck do I do if she tries to suggest it again? I was horrified, my Maid/Matron of Honor sister was horrified, my mum, my Fiance, everyone except her! Yikes!
(And although I see nothing wrong with changing your clothes at a wedding, it’s not my kind of thing, and it’s not a “tee shirt” kind of event!)
Post # 3
Tshirts of any kind have no place at the reception. If she is not willing to wear her dress for the entire event, then perhaps she should not have accepted the position in the first place. Stand your ground if you are not comfortable with it.
Post # 4
I would just be straight forward with her, and tell her that those kinds of shirts are really meant for the bachelorette party, not the formal wedding reception, where there is more likely to be socializing and a formal dinner and dancing. Just tell her that you all spent a lot of money on dresses, and dresses is what you intend to wear. No point in buying dresses if you are only going to wear them for less than an hour at the ceremony!
Post # 5
I guess it depends on the bride and groom but I went to a wedding (outside in the summer) in which halfway through the wedding we all went out to the parking lot and changed into comfy clothes (tshirts, jeans, shorts, yoga pants, etc). Even the bride and groom! We also all went camping later on that night so maybe thats why it was acceptable.
Post # 6
I think maybe explaining your wedding is a semi-formal event, perhaps she’ll realize that t-shirts are a no-go? And if not, you could always say you’ve purchased them and tell her you’ll bring them to the reception and then “forget” them?
Post # 7
I would just tell her how much you love your dress and that you want to wear it as long as possible. Maybe get your other bridesmaids on your side if you have any, and then she’ll feel silly being the only one changed into a tee shirt at the reception.
Post # 8
nooo! don’t let her do it! maybe do them for the bridal shower or some other wedding related event and afterwards say you want them to sign them and have them as keepsakes so that you have them and she can’t wear them
Post # 9
She has lost her mind. Thank goodness your Maid/Matron of Honor is on the same page and can help you to handle it. Do you think she has some sort of motive for wanting to turn your recpetion into a kegger?
Post # 10
[email protected], I wondered the same thing! Maybe she just hasn’t been to many (or any) weddings? lol.
Thanks ladies! and @MightySapphire, I lol’d. For real! Best idea ever.
Post # 11
I’d explain that you only get to wear your wedding dress for one night, so you don’t want to cut that time short.
If she is so crazy about the t-shirts at the reception, she should save that idea for her own wedding 😉 Lol.
Post # 12
I can appreciate the idea behind it. You definitely do what to be comfy throughout the reception. I’m sure she’s been to receptions where they’ve done this. If she does bring it up again, I’d just be honest, I’d tell her that you’d rather not change, I’m sure she’ll let it go if she hasn’t already.
Post # 13
Ditto the above poster. Just tell her you love your dress so much, you want to wear it as long as you can. Maybe wear the tshirts for an afterparty or something?
Post # 14
I agree, perhaps the afterparty, pre getting ready (def!) or day after brunch, NOT the reception. If shes worried about being comfortable – wear flip flops!
Post # 15
I think the main issue is not whether she wants YOU to change, because you can help that very easily by NOT changing, but you need to nip this in the bud and tell her she CAN NOT change at your wedding, or try to get anyone else to. That is the most redneck idea I have ever heard! I can’t beleive she was serious. Those things are meant for bachelor/ette parties, does she have no taste?? i wouldn’t be so nice about it, i’d be like “oh HELLS no! I’m not changing and neither are you!” Nevermind how expensive the dress was, that’s none of her business and beside the point. This idea is totally innapropriate and she needs to get a clue.
Post # 16
@ Kemi82Justice of the Peace
That was pretty much my first thoughts, but as I haven’t known this Bridesmaid or Best Man as long as the rest of them my first thought was “Oh god, don’t just full-on say NO because it will squash her idea of trying to help/be involved,” But yeah, I doubt the other BM’s will go for it and I think quite literally if she does it, her and her Groomsmen Boyfriend or Best Friend will be the only ones. (Though I still hope it doesn’t happen at all!!)
If we were getting married almost anywhere else it would be a cute idea.. but at a classy place where dinner is $35+ a person that’s soooo not going to happen!!