(Closed) My Bridesmaids are useless and making everything MORE complicated! Advice?!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
1471 posts
Bumble bee

The dress response really burns me up.  That is SO, SO RUDE.  My bridesmaids have been nothing but accomodating – and I have 6!! – “I’ll wear whatever you want”.  I asked them for their opinion of course becuase I want them to feel good in it, but they would do whatever I wanted since it’s my wedding!!  And $100?  That girl for sure is fired.  Get a clue, lady.  You cannot find a good bridesmaid dress for less unless you sacrifice quality, length and looks.

I agree – fire them all.  It’s too late to order?  Too bad.  Ooh I’m mad for you.

As for the cake tasting though, I don’t think you should expect someone to pay for a babysitter to taste cakes if they don’t want to — isn’t that something you do w/ your fiance or family?

Post # 17
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Fire them. Seriously. “my Fiance says it’s dumb to spend “$100 on a dress I’ll wear once” wait till she’s asking girls to wear lime green next to her. :-/ 

They’re rude and toxic for you right now. They’re your friends, invite them to the wedding but as guests. Keep the ones who have actually made your friendship and wedding a priority. This is YOUR wedding. My Maid/Matron of Honor just had twin boys and she’s still driving 4 hours from Dallas two months in a row to be part of my events. That’s what friends do, not ignore deadlines. Seriously get them out of your wedding plans. You don’t need it.

And don’t worry about his number of groomsmen. It doesn’t matter. I’ve seen plenty of mismatched wedding parties. 

Post # 18
1794 posts
Buzzing bee

Since 1 bridesmaid has the dress, she deserves to be a bridesmaid, you should let all of the others go. Their attitudes and flakey behavior- you don’t deserve this disrespect! They don’t give a damn about your wedding, they’re making zero effort. Save yourself and quit them!

Post # 19
558 posts
Busy bee

julybride93:  yup, keep the one with the dress and drop the others like it’s hot.

Post # 24
176 posts
Blushing bee

“Also, the bridesmaids who haven’t ordered yet…the dress was $80 and they have no problem going on expensive vacations, going out to dinner every night, getting new tattoos, buying new cars, etc. but when I ask about the dress, all of a sudden it’s a sob story about how they are “struggling”. In fact, two of them are on vacation right now. So this is my problem. How do I bring this up or do I just let it go and realize where their priorities lie?”


General rule of thumb in life: any time you find yourself counting other people’s money, you’re going down the wrong track.  You have no idea what is going on with their finances, regardless of how it may appear.  

Ultimately, if they are not willing to cooperate with you about buying dresses (and it is important to you that they all wear matching dresses), then I would nicely ask them to attend as guests instead.  


Post # 26
1471 posts
Bumble bee

Have you talked to them frankly like this?  Not just “friendly text reminders” but an actual tough conversation phone call or email?  I encourage you to do this.  I’d also be interested to hear what they have to say.  

Post # 28
1142 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I agree with kicking them out of the bridal party. It sounds like they aren’t really there for you, and quite frankly wearing a dress picked by the bride is the absolute minimum a bridesmaid must do. If you accept a bridesmaids position you KNOW you WILL be buying a dress you may or may not like, and if you aren’t okay with that you should refuse the position.


I would give them a second chance to buy their dresses through DB’s website (which delivers waaaay faster than buying in store, more like a typical online shopping experience), give them a week to get their dress in the color you requested and let them know if they fail to do this they are officially out of the bridal party.


it seriously sounds like you’d be better off telling them to kick rocks though.

Post # 29
688 posts
Busy bee

Promote the one who bought the dress to Maid/Matron of Honor, and kindly kick all the others out. That’s ridiculous.

Post # 30
3586 posts
Sugar bee

julybride93:  As much as i am frustrated with my own bridesmaids for ditching me today when we were suppose to go buy their dresses i am still going to say that Bridesmaid or Best Man don’t need to run errands with you. My Fiance and I went cake tasting and i didn’t want anyone else there. My Fiance went food tasting with me. My mom went with me to get my dress. My sister will go with me to my decorating meeting. As for the dresses that sucks i know how you feel. I texted all my girls with what they need to order and told them they can do it at the store or online. Lucky we all agreed on a dress and no one is complaining about the price. I would just say hey get one of these dresses and thats it. If they don’t want to tell them they can just attend the wedding in what ever rags they were going to pick. now i wouldn’t say rags but you know what i mean.

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