My Bridesmaids expect me to pay for them

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 61
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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septemberwedding2019 :  when it comes time to book and pay, they won’t/can’t….what can do you? So you booked things for yourself, and now cry poor.

Since it’s your wedding, and you offered them money to go towards dresses, you should keep your word on that.

A bachelorette party is an optional event, and usually hosted by not the bride, I mean, no one forced you to book it, as harsh as this sounds, you should let it go/cancel. Maybe they didn’t keep their word, but yeah, it’s not just with weddings, when it comes time to pay, people bail, especially with things that aren’t exactly for them. You really can’t force people to spend money on you.

Post # 63
4904 posts
Honey bee

I’ll assume you deleted the other post because you wanted to keep everything in one post.

I didn’t get a chance to see if you answered my questions in the other post before you deleted.  

Did they really “decide to involve you” or did you involve yourself?  And was that before or after you asked them more than once about a bachelorette and shower where they originally acted disinterested because you claim they wanted to keep it a surprise (meaning you were the one who kept approaching them even though you now claim you didn’t even care and never requested a party)?  Cause I’m going to guess they probably were not acting, were legit disinterested and not planning anything, and since you kept bringing it up they felt the need to come up with some story about how it was going to be a surprise.  They would have had something booked otherwise.

And since the other post made it clear you’re the one who instigated the whole thing and inserted yourself…But now you claim you don’t care and that they had most if it already planned….were you lying in your other post when you said you called around and found out they had nothing booked /planned or are you lying in this post to make yourself look better?  

Because there is no way for them to have “dropped the ball”.  They wouldnt have involved you on their own since it was supposed to be a surprise allegedly.  So you had to have been the one to ask them to even find out about it.  And you claim you never asked or wanted a big event in the first place, so them not following through to organize such a thing would have been in no way “dropping the ball” since it isn’t what you wanted anyway, right?  It’s only “dropping the ball” if you put the ball in play in the first place.

So drop the ball, cancel it, and let them do whatever they want to do, even if that means they want to do nothing at all.

Post # 64
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I didn’t see the other post but it seems like if you took the party from them and booked it yourself, it would be reasonable for you to pay/contribute.  If they wanted to do something for you, you should have let them do it without interfering.

Ps I’m an Aussie too and in my experience the bride pays for the dress, hair, makeup etc.

Post # 65
162 posts
Blushing bee

Here is the previous post

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