- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Before I start this, please know I look forward to the wedding being over with so I never need to deal with this petty crap again. The girl is a good friend and I love her, but I should never have forgotten what an unreliable flake she can sometimes be. And as I am the exact opposite (lists, punctual, stick to the plan, etc), it is driving me crazy.
So my bridesmaid, let’s call her Marie is driving me nuts! I have asked for practically nothing this entire engagement period from any of my BMs, so I don’t feel this is unreasonable.
Offense #1: My bridal shower. She switched plans. We were all going to meet at the location and the night before, she calls my friend and asks if she can hitch a ride. That’s fine, come at 11 am. 11AM comes and goes and we haven’t heard from her. I call to see where she is, she hasn’t even left yet. She finally makes it there by about 12 and we make it to the shower by the skin of our teeth. I was supposed to be there early and she knew it.
Offense #2: Changing bachelorette party plans. All of my BMs worked together on my bachelorette party. They did for over a year! So when the weekend came and Marie started changing plans (leaving late, deciding to drive home a day early, more or less stranding my MoH in a different state to figure her own way home) and trying to make it the party she would want, it really got on my other BM’s nerves.
Offense #3: This is the one that actually bothers me. The others I let go and don’t care about. I have enough to deal with, no need for me to be nitpicky. I booked a block for the hotel 8 months ago. I sent all of our guests the information. I picked the number of nights we would need after asking our guests and hearing they would/wouldn’t need a room. I told my BMs the information before ANYONE else.
So she had 8 months to figure out room information. Four weeks ago she FINALLY looked it up and said it was too expensive* and she wasn’t going to book. This completely screwed us over as we would have to pay a fine without her reservation** Fine, whatever. My MoH booked 2 rooms so we could still have adjoining rooms to prepare in and FI and I booked another room to cover the one she isn’t using. Marie said she was going to split a cheap hotel room about half an hour away with one of our other guests.
Now this week she’s trying to hit someone up to get an air mattress so she can crash on someone’s floor. I more or less told her she can’t have the room at the original hotel. At this point, I’m so frustrated with her that I dont’ care if she sleeps on the street, as long as she shows up on time to get ready.
Offense #4: As mentioned, we are covering her room, which is $140/night. So when she had the nerve to ask for me to pay for her alterations, my FI told her to offer to swap fees, she can pay for the room and we’ll pay for the alterations. We’re paying most of it out of pocket, but the alteration money I set aside for our BMs is where we pulled some of the hotel money from.
Offense #5: Her dress. This one doesn’t bother me but is pissing off the other girls. When they got their gowns, I was super easygoing. All I wanted was for them to look and feel beautiful and comfortable and to have similar colors. They were the ones who decided to get matching gowns. So the fact that she returned a discontinued dress to get a smaller size didn’t bug me. It did make me sweat for a bit. But now she has added sleeves and modified the dress itself. I still don’t mind but I know the other girls are going to be pissed because they wanted to match and she went and switched things around.
So yeah. All super petty and in 9 days I’ll be over it, but I like reliable people and this girl is getting under my skin with her flaky behavior.
*For the record, I have been telling the entire wedding party since day one that if they cannot afford something to let us know and we’ll do what we can to cover it. We know we are asking for a lot and want to make it easier on people. We’re paying for one of the groomsmen’s rooms. The thing is, she left us 4 weeks to figure it out, the budget was spent. If she had looked ANYTIME in those 8 months, I could have wiggled things around to afford this for her.
**Yes, I know this is not the norm. In my area, you sign a contract and are obligated to fill X% of the room nights you agreed to or you pay for the difference out of pocket. Yes I know this sucks. Please don’t turn this into a thread about it, been there done that.