(Closed) My Bridesmaids HATE every dress I pick!

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you have to decide what you want.  In the last wedding I was in, giving them too many choices or trying to incorporate too many opinions was too much.  How many BM’s do you have?  Can you maybe take the Maid/Matron of Honor to the store and let her pick and then go with that?

If you already have set wedding colors then I think you tell them that you what color you want them in (or maybe 2 choices).  Decide if you want them in strapless or something with straps/sleeves.  Set a few parameters and maybe that will help.

They should be there to support you.  This is not a shopping trip for their dream dress.

Post # 4
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ugh…I gave my bridesmaids (8 of them) eight choices to pick from.  Seven of them had no problem choosing.  After a month-long uphill battle, my cousin (the last BM) has RELUCANTATLY chosen one of the 8.  After arguing with me that she should be able to pick a different one.

It’s impossible to please everyone.

Post # 5
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee

I can’t believe your BM’s are being nasty. When I was my sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor and I didn’t like a dress I would start each comment with “Well, I will wear whatever you want me to, but I don’t love _____” and then not say something nasty. Constructive feedback!

You might just have to tell them to suck it up. Especially if the dress you pick isn’t expensive it shouldn’t be a big deal.

Post # 6
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

You’ll never make all of them happy. This is one of those situations where it’s your wedding and your decision. Just pick one that doesn’t look horrible on anyone. Honestly, though, with that huge of a difference in sizes it might be really hard to do just one dress. Possible, but difficult.

Mine range in size from 0-12 and I chose two that would work for everyone. Some girls were happy with whatever I chose, others were more picky. But I am sticking to those two and going with whichever one the majority chooses.

Post # 7
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh my gosh!! I’m having the same exact problem. I really thought everyone would be happier if I let them have input, but it’s just made things more complicated. I finally decided that I would pick my top 4 favorites, and they can choose from those 4. I hope things work out with your bridesmaids!!  

Post # 8
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

if i were you, i’d go with the cheapest of the dresses that you like, and tell them to suck it up and buy it. i feel like price should be the only thing that keeps them from being able to buy a dress. it’s your wedding, you get to pick. for their wedding, they can decide.

Post # 9
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

by the way, this is the dress we chose from Davids Bridal that fit well on all 6 of my girls from a size 2 to a size 14.  I even had my Maid/Matron of Honor who is 8 months pregnant try on the dress and it looked great on her.

Post # 10
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I have always like the look of each bm in a diff dress that suits her figure In a colour that suits her complexion. As long as the length and pallette are the same.

Post # 11
Member
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree thats not cool of your BM’s!! Its your wedding, they should just STFU and go with the dress you pick. Granted I now have easy bridesmaids, they are very cool with everything I’ve picked. ok well except that one that got kicked off the bridesmaid list, lol, but she killed our friendship, and she didn’t like the dresses i picked, lol. Thats not why shes not a bridesmaid, but still….

The last wedding I was in (the ex friends as a matter of fact….) I not only wore an ugly dress, but it was in this hideous shade of purple (i hate hate hate hate hate purple), but I said hey, its your wedding, I will wear what you pick. The dress is so bad i can’t even sell it….ugh!

I wish I could be more help, but maybe if you say you know it would mean a lot to me if you picked one of these dresses, since its my wedding…..or say it nicer than that, i’m not good at saying things nicely without hurting other peoples feelings,lol….I’m just really direct……so hopefully that helps a tiny bit….

Post # 12
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

People are just so tacky. They’re acting like it’s their wedding.

I just took my Maid/Matron of Honor and one of my 6 BMs to shop. We picked the dress, they tried it on and said they liked it and the price was reasonable and I informed the other BMs. Not one of them said anything negative. Your girls are totally missing the point of the day.

You should make an executive decision and pick one and go with it. Or, if the shop can do this: pick the dress fabric and color and see if the girls could pick the style that works for them.

Post # 13
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I made it easy for myself: told the girls to find something black and semi-formal.. then they all got what they wanted!

But I agree that your BMs need to just deal with whatever you throw at them – it’s your wedding!

I’d say pick 2 dresses and tell them they MUST pick from those 2..

Post # 14
Member
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

mmm that’s tough..i ended up going with my Maid/Matron of Honor and 1 of my bridesmaids, and i had in mind what I wanted them to wear, so we picked out a dress and the other girls ended up agreeing to it..

i think you just kind of need to pick it yourself or decide on which ones you want them to wear just because it’s so hard with the different opinions, it’s ultimately your decision..good luck!!!

Post # 15
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

One of my sister’s is giving me a tough time about this too, so I understand your frustration.  I’ve gotten to the point where I just said I realize this is a dress and color you would not pick out for yourself, but I’d appreciate it if for this one day you can just wear the dress I choose.  If you try to make everyone happy, you’ll go nuts. 

Post # 16
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m really really not a fan of just telling people to buy a dress without them being able to try it on.  The BMs may say they don’t like this or that picture online, but no one has any clue what it will really look like on the girls themselves.  I say take them all shopping and say “we’re picking something today”.  Then whatever looks halfway decent on everyone, that’s what you get.  They don’t have to LOVE the look, but they do have to feel like they won’t be totally embarrassed because the dress will show obscene amounts of cleavage or reveals that unfortunately embarrassing tattoo or something.  My advice would be don’t look for what websites say about universally flattering styles, go to a salon and see for yourselves what looks good.

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