Post # 61
sunnierdaysahead2 : Unfortunately your mom is right, it is their money so it’s none of your business what they decide to do with it. It’s good that she awknowledged your feelings though. I also grew up in a family with 2 sisters(me included) and an older brother. Because he’s “the one and only son” he could pretty much get away with murder with my mom and dad. If I were to leave a single drinking glass is my room I’d get an ear from my mom about putting stuff away. But then I see my mom taking dishware out of my brother’s room. Then when I say “wth mom!?” she sheepishly responds, “well he’s my son…” lol. Honestly it’s become more of a joke in the family that we just laugh about because there wasn’t such an extreme amount of favortism going on(as it seems here), but maybe this is where your parents are coming from? That he’s their only son so they treat him differently.
From your update though it sounds like you’re not the only one upset in this though! So if I were in your shoes I’d just sit back and enjoy the show(because I’m petty like that haha)
Post # 62
Darling Husband and I got married about a month before our big wedding for health insurance reasons. Only my Maid/Matron of Honor was present, and when I told my parents later on – they were completely fine and happy with it. The courtroom ceremony had a different meaning than the big ceremony. I don’t know what your brother did, but that would justify the big wedding.
However, it is a huge and disgusting slight that no one from your side was present for their small ceremony, when they had his parents there. If I were your parents, I would absolutely withdraw the financial contribution. Because even if you don’t like her, and maybe your parents don’t…they were still being supportive with the shower and other financial contribution. Sorry Bee. It doesn’t sound like this will last anyways.
Post # 63
OK, here’s an update:
I wasn’t privy to this big meeting between my parents, my brother, his new wife and her parents. Boy how I wished I was a fly on the wall for that!
My mom did not disclose many details with me, but she did with my sister, and I got the gist from her.
My parents are still giving my brother some of the money they promised. I don’t know exactly how much that is. Her parents are also giving some, but not as much as originally promised as well. Because of the fallout from mainly her friends and family, they are having a celebration rather than a re-enactment. The fact that they were going to keep this a secret is what is making people so pissed. Her bridesmaids all said they are stepping down. She is reimbursing them for the deposits they put on the dresses (and paying whatever cancellation fees there may be). They are keeping the hall where this celebration will take place but they have to cut the guest list dramatically. Fortunately, they did not send Save-The-Date Cards already.
My mom has decided this isn’t the hill that she wants to die on and she has been much more forgiving than my dad. I must take after him because I am surprised at how upset I still am. My brother doesn’t really get why everyone is still upset as his opinion was it was up to them how to get married. My sister has talked to him and he admitted they should have invited us and our parents, but that’s where the guilt ends. He is pissed though that his gravy train was taken away because he was all ready to keep this big secret up until June. Now they have to change everything. Too freaking bad.
Post # 64
sunnierdaysahead2 : I wish both sets of parents we’re standing firm. But it good to see they’re being forced to scale everything back. Your brother lives in the land of delusion. The pair of them are getting a rude awakening and it’s about time.
Post # 65
I agree with pp, it is a pity both sets of parents are still going to pay ( even though a reduced amount) as your brother shows no signs of understanding the magnitude of what he and Fiance have done and are still simply pouting that their stupid, selfish, shortsighted ‘plan’ did not work out.
Thank god the bridesmaids etc are not enabling this . Nor you. Stay mad at him, he needs the reality check !
Post # 66
I got really excited to see that there was an update! At least the parents have called them out on it. And I’m glad they won’t be getting the fake wedding that they wanted