- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I am so sorry you are going through this. I’ve followed your thread, but didn’t comment. My cousin was hit by an IED in Iraq and it was very similar to your situtation, and I tried to comment a couple times but just couldn’t for various reasons… I didn’t want to be a downer if things turned around (sometimes they do), and I couldn’t post without sharing what happened to my cousin even in general detail.
I know it’s an awful time and many years later I still occasionally tear up thinking about him (like now), he was my favorite cousin even though I probably spent the least time with him growing up, he was just a great person.
So I want to say I’m sorry for your brother, I’m sorry for your family, I’m sorry for the pain you feel and will feel. It will probably never competely stop, but it will get so much better. One day the memories will be bittersweet. Happy thoughts mixed with the fact he is gone, so a little sadness that you lost him, but acceptance too, and the joy that you had with him. It will not happen over night, but I promise it will happen.
Please know everyone who reads this, even if they don’t post, are thinking of you and your family.
And again, I promise, it won’t be right away but it will get better. Someday you’ll be reading something and you’ll be smiling thinking of him, but you’ll have tears. The tears aren’t bad, they are acknowledging the loss and missing him, and the smile is about who is was and the great times you had.
I hope this all makes sense, and I know it doesn’t help a whole lot, nothing can fill the void, even promises of the future. Just know you aren’t alone, you have your family and friends to lean on, and do so when you need to. Whether it’s to talk, or just get out and forget, let your friends and family help you. Because they want to, they often just don’t know what to do, so when someone offers “what can I do”, tell them “I need a day out, I need you to come over and sit with me” whatever.