(Closed) my brother just got engaged and i had to find out thru facebook

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
202 posts
Helper bee

we posted it on fb before telling anyone because this is one of those situations where you just can’t win.  if you tell people on the phone or in person first, then others will get upset that you told someone else before you told them.  everyone wants to be the first to know, but that’s just not possible.  in the grand scheme of things, this is a very minor thing.

Post # 4
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@lilchicana:  After we got engaged, I asked if we could run to the Internet cafe (our Internet was out) before we went out to dinner to celebrate. My man obliged… we’re overseas, so first I Skyped my mom and tried to call her cell through Google Voice. No answer. I waited like 30 minutes, then I texted her the news, along with all my close friends. After that, I posted it on Facebook. It’s possible that people who were online at the time saw through Facebook before they got a chance to see their phones, but whatever.

I know it’s hurtful, but let this one slide. I’m sure they DID get caught up in the moment- it’s a big moment! Not everyone has your self control when it comes to social media :o) 

Post # 5
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We also posted on fbook before telling virtually anyone because we were in vacation and roaming internationally. We tried to call our families first but then shut off our phones and went to facebook.

My mom isnt on fbook so I verbally told her the next day before she found out but my FIs is and she was sort of pissed. When he turned on his phone the next day to check vms she had left him a sort of sassy text.  We called her immediately…I think she was kind of hurt until she realized our reasoning (mostly that we were SO EXCITED that we had to post it!)

Post # 6
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

I think this was probably an oversight due to their excitement and not intentional. Facebook/social media “etiquette” doesn’t really exist and it’s impossible to make everyone happy. Let this one go!

Post # 7
Member
397 posts
Helper bee

I waited over 2 weeks before posting it to facebook and technically I didn’t even say I was… I just updated my status.  I wanted Fiance to call his brother who is in Utah and ask him to be best man before he found out on facebook.   And by the time he did it I was like… ahhh who cares about facebook.. but I NEVER post anything on there except a few comments here and there.

Post # 8
Member
12248 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I called my parents/grandparents, and then it went of FB within HOURS of it happening!

I was so excited I couldn’t control myself!

(FI’s parents knew he was proposing… But I think his sister found out on FB, too! To be fair, we found out SHE was engaged on FB, as well!)

Post # 10
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I totally understand!  We waited 2 days before we put it on FB so we could call our family, and it so happened we were having a party the next day, so we were able to tell all our close friends in person!

I still get salty when close family puts things like engagements and babies on FB before we find out.  I just think society has lost some of the personal touch with social media, and that makes me sad.

On the other hand, I see why some posted on FB for extenuating circumstances.  It’s a fine line!

Post # 11
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d be very annoyed to find out via Facebook too! We waited a few days to put it on fb (and when we went to the Olympics in the meantime I had to hide the ring in the photo I posted of us there just in case!)

Post # 12
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Men handle things differently. I’m sure he was wrapped up in the excitement and once his fiancé told who she wanted to…his brain just shut down. Don’t take it offensively, it’s a man thing.

Post # 13
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I told my parents and family but FH’s family found out through facebook, they knew it was coming that weekend but were upset we didn’t call with the news. It really is one of those things we were too wrapped up in to think about everyone else. 

Post # 15
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee

@lilchicana:  Yeah, I would have let family know first. Is it just a guy thing? 

Post # 16
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Honestly, I called my mom and my dad right after my fiancé popped the question, and within ten minutes had posted to my Facebook. It was my excitement and my news to share however I see fit. Maybe that rubs some people the wrong way, but let’s face it: you have big news to share, Facebook is the fastest way to make sure everyone who would care finds out. Let it go. Their engagement is about them, and it’s their right to share from afar. I also didn’t want to get to stuck on the phone with every friend, aunt, cousin, and brother who would have wanted a personal call. 

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