- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
This is the first post I have written but I was so emotionally stunned by this, I needed help!
My FH and I are getting married in August. The date has been set for over a year. We have a total of ten people in our bridal party – on my side, I have four friends and my FH’s sister; on his side, he has two friends, his brother and my two brothers. Now for the whole back story …
My FH is Air Force and in the past year, my brother decided he was going to pursue a career in the Air Force as well. My FH and my brother have grown very close as a result of this. My brother was supposed to leave for basic training approximately six months ago. However, my brother made a few poor life choices that temporarily stalled his entrance into the military. In the last month, he has been assigned a new recruiter, been able to go re-test, and has been assigned a new job. Two days ago, they gave him his new dates for basic training. He leaves … dun dun dun … two weeks before our wedding. I was devastated.
My family has always been extremely close, in large part because my father’s job moved us all over the world growing up and so for months at a time, we were each other’s only friends. Although I am close to both of my brothers, this brother is only two years younger than me. I am very family oriented. So when I found my brother may not be able to attend, I was crushed. Tears started forming before I had even finished processing what my FH was telling me (because my brother called my FH to let him know the possibility). My FH, while disappointed, has a very different outlook. He understands the sacrifices required by the military and he fully supports my brother. It may not sound like it, but I do understand that there are personal sacrifices with the military – I am going to be an Air Force wife! After a lot of thought, I think I’m angry (and sad) about the situation because this would never have been an issue had my brother not sabotaged, however unintentionally, his first chance.
To make matters worse, my FH began to talk about who to replace my brother with in the bridal party which I think is an awful idea. Our wedding website has been up for months; everyone knows who is in the bridal party. I can live with an uneven number of people. I think it’s tacky to ask someone to be a big part of our day who we obviously didn’t ask first and who would solely be filling a hole.
My FH doesn’t want me to stress over this until it is 100% set in stone but I feel like I need to start preparing myself and make sure there is not another option that nobody knows about. Our wedding is a Friday night so I highly doubt my brother would be allowed to leave to attend but …
I needed to vent but also needed to ask for advice and help. Has this ever happened to anyone? Can anyone understand how I’m feeling? Am I being completely dramatic or am I justified (however slightly) in how I’m feeling?