(Closed) My brother…. Need advice!

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
16 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

No offense. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Obviously you don’t want to feel like your day isn’t special, but think about your brother also.  Also look at the brightside.  His is before yours so you get all the love after.  Just be happy there is a lot of happy stuff going on in your family.  One of my best friends got engaged after us and there is no competition whatsoever.  Its nice to have a person who is going through all the wedding planning stuff along with you.

Post # 4
1773 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Sorry, but I don’t think you have a reason to be upset. IMO 1-2 months should be enough space. Otherwise, you are ruling out a whole season for them which could move them to a different year if they really want that season. Even for weddings where about 50% of guests are the same ppl, 2 months apart is really fine.

And they really shouldn’t have to take into account your preferred bachelorette party dates or any other non-wedding dates when setting the date for their wedding.

Ppl will not miraculously forget their wedding was lavish and yours wasn’t just because 4 months pass in between or a year even.

Post # 5
3887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t think you have any reason to feel betrayed, and while upset might be a reasonable emotion, you need to let it go. People will not keep score and tally up whose wedding is “better”, and while a free hotel room in Vegas is a nice add for your bachelorette party, it’s not going to be saving anyone but you any money– your friends still need to pay to get there, no matter when you go, and truth be told, I’d rather pay for my own room than share the free room with an entourage. So changing the date or location of your bachelorette really is not going to be the end of the world. Most family members will be just fine with driving two hours each way, twice, in two months.  You will be just fine. Don’t turn this into a big deal.

Post # 6
7990 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think 2 months is enough time in between. The summer is only so long.


Post # 7
1773 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

you told them there were 6-8 months when they shouldn’t get married. That’s just really unreasonable. 

Post # 8
4778 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Catcatdog:  I agree with you and think it was a low blow.  Esp the B-party thing.  Did you brother know your B-party was supposed to be then?

Post # 9
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Realistically driving two hours twice in two months really isn’t so bad.

I saw you mentioned engagement parties, etc….you got engaged ten months ago. it’s odd to me you haven’t had that party yet….as for showers etc….your family will probably make the effort for yours since you are the bride, and I doubt you’re inviting extended family to your bachelorette…

all that to say it’s really not as bad as you’re making it out to be.

yes,they asked your opinion,  but they don’t have to do what you say just because you want them to.if they wanted a spring or summer wedding your 3 month buffer eliminated that as an option, which is unfair.

Post # 10
2484 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@Shkragoldfish:  +1

That’s a pretty big range to “ban” for them.  2 months is plenty of a time difference.  Your weddings will be very different.  Anyone who judges you for having a “less elaborate” wedding is actually kind of a jerk.

As for the bachelorette, I’m not sure how far your plans were shared, but maybe they didn’t know about it.  And maybe your BMs couldn’t have come.  And maybe and maybe and maybe…  I’m guessing it’s not set in stone.

Post # 11
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Honestly, your bother sounds like a jerk. You were engaged for 9 months, had a wedding set for 2014, when he gets engaged. You have events planned, they discussed timelines with you, and then they set a wedding 2 months before yours? Ugh. Definitely a jerk.

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