(Closed) My Brother Who Won’t Grow Up–Vent

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

im thinking maybe he was trying to make a joke and it fell flat with you….. obviously he isnt your favourite person so try not to have dinner with the guy too often in the next 7 months and hopefully you wont want to punch him too much 🙂


Post # 5
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

my hubby has a brother that is just a misery guts.,… i swear he drains the life source out of you when spending time with him.  some people are just negative no matter that the topic so try not to let him vampire any of your postive vibes from you

but if hitting helps – maybe you should do it hehehehe


Post # 6
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

You mentioned that you don’t care either way whether he comes … have you said that to him? In a way, you’re just giving that attitude back to him. I know playing passive-aggressive isn’t always the best, but you could say, “Okay, Jim, I want my family at my wedding to support me, but if you can’t handle that just stay home. I don’t need your attitude.”

Of course I wouldn’t suggest that unless you truly feel that way because you may not be able to predict his response.

I don’t know what I’d do if I were in your situation. I have to deal with a guy like this who is a childhood friend, almost like a brother, to Darling Husband. He always says something offensive and Darling Husband says it’s just meant as a joke. I usually give him a stern look and tell him it’s not nice, or not funny, and at this point I just avoid all contact.

Post # 7
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Ugh, that sucks. Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice for you other than to tough it out, and if it gets bad enough, you could always tell him the truth — maybe that will smarten him up!

Post # 8
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Brothers have a way of know exactly which buttons to push to set us off (I have 3 older brothers). Ignore his comments. Once he realize’s he’s not going to ge a response from you, he should keep quiet.

Post # 9
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree with Mary-Alice-Me…tell him you want family there who supports you and if he doesn’t want to be there, he doesn’t have to be. 

Post # 10
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I wish I had some helpful advice, but I can sympathize! My brother is younger than me, but he is still an adult, and was totally a jerk throughout the whole wedding process. Anytime I wanted to talk about it while he was around, I was manipulating the conversation and being a bridezilla. God forbid we talk about something other than him, for once! It got to the point where we had a fight in a restaurant, with our immediate family present, where he said he didn’t want to come to the wedding and I told him he shouldn’t wait for his invitation.

Of course, he eventually came to the wedding (would have killed my mother if he hadn’t), but it helped me decide that I just wouldn’t have much to do with him until he decides to grow up. Could be tomorrow, could be ten years from now. That’s how brothers (and men?) are, I guess.

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