(Closed) My brother won’t be at my wedding :(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m so sorry.  He will for sure be there in spirit watching over you on your beautiful day.  RIP.

Post # 4
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My heart breaks for you.  I’m so sorry for your loss.  I can’t even begin to imagine what you and your family have been through this past year.  Your brother will be there in spirit watching over you on your wedding day.  I think it would be a nice gesture to honor him at your wedding somehow–maybe have an empty chair present at the ceremony with your family with a single rose on the chair and make mention of him during a prayer.  I know it won’t be easy but stay strong for him.  He wouldn’t want to see his big sis cry on the happiest day of her life.  *hugs*

Post # 5
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

So sorry for your loss. That must be so hard for you. I will be missing my uncle at my wedding too. He was like a second dad and always there for me. It’s been years since he’s past but I’ve felt like with the wedding it’s become more fresh all over again. He always talked about dancing with me at my wedding and sitting in the front row so he could be right next to me. And then 2 weeks ago my cousin passed and she was like a sister to me. She kept saying how she was so excited for my wedding and she couldn’t believe how much I’ve grown.. I’ll miss her hugs so much…. It is hard to lose someone very important and to not have them there. We are making an “in loving memory table” where we have pictures of people that we had lost with some candles and a framed saying. It’s not like them being there at all but it has made me feel like we are honouring them more. One of my other uncles got married last year and they sat an empty chair by the head table and had a little sign on it saying “for those here in spirit, you live in our hearts”. Hope this helps and things get a little better for you.

Post # 6
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2007

Very sorry for your loss.  We put a little paragraph on the back of our program (for the ceremony) about remembering and thanking the people in our lives that couldn’t attend our wedding, then we listed their names.  We also had their names read in church, under the ‘prayers of the faithful’ section of the ceremony (Catholic).  You could also have a moment of silence after the speaches and prayer (if you are having one) at your reception. 

Also, my cousin-in-laws both had pictures of their parents (him – his mom, her – her dad) on the alter.  It worked for them, but I think just looking at them during the ceremony would make me cry. 

*hugs*

Post # 7
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2007

Also, is there something of his you could incorporate into your dress or veil?  Maybe have something of his (clothing, scarf, whatever) sewn into the inside of your dress so it was only for you to see and know about, or maybe his name embroidered on the inside of your dress?  Just an idea. 

 

Post # 8
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m so sorry to hear this, but I know how you feel. My little brother also passed away recently, in September, and he was only 18. I’m going to follow this thread for some ideas for my wedding and give you a virtual hug from someone who understands! 

Post # 9
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m so sorry you lost him 🙁

At a wedding I went to recently, they put a huge flower arrangement up in the front of the church and on the program it said, “Flower arrangement at the alter is in memory of ____________”.  You could do that.  I will have two small candles burning at my wedding for my grandparents who are deceased.  I will have my cousin walk two roses down the aisle after FI’s grandmothers and our mothers have been seated, and he will place the roses on the table with the candles.

Post # 10
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’m so sorry for your loss. I think a nice moment of silence with pictures of him would be nice. Or some type of personal item you can bring.. such as, if groom wears the same size shoes, mayeb he could wear his(your brother) favorite pair? A song that reminds you of him to be played?

Post # 11
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wow, I am sooo sorry about your brother.  I honestly don’t have any good suggestions but I like all of what PPs said.  Any of them would make me cry like a little baby though and I HATE crying in public.  Regardless, your brother will be with you on your wedding day as he continues to be…in your heart!  

Post # 12
Member
307 posts
Helper bee

i’m so sorry 🙁 perhaps a photo tribute?

 

Post # 13
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m so, so sorry for your loss.  (hugs)

Post # 14
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am so sorry for your terrible loss. My brother is very dear to me, too, and I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now.

We arranged our entire wedding around my brother’s deployment leave, seriously crunching our prep time because we had to wait to find out when it would be and then only had three months to plan. But I couldn’t imaging his NOT being there, so it was the only way to do it. And with all that, it’s possible his leave could get postponed at the last second (it’s the army, they can do what they want!). 

I think if he couldn’t be there, I’d want something of his to hold onto – a piece of jewelry of his that I could wear, or a note he’s written me that I could tuck into my clutch, or something. But I’d definintel put up a framed picture of us together somewhere at the ceremony and reception.

You will probably cry, but that’s okay. It’s alright to be sad and miss him. Even (or especially) at your wedding. Weddings are when lives are knitted together, and so they’re emotional, but I don’t think every emotion has to be blazingly happy. I think it’s appropriate to remember those who aren’t there.

Post # 15
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m really sorry for your loss 🙁

How about a memory table with some photos and a memory candle? This is what I’m doing for my grandparents. I know it’s different but it’s a nice way to remember and include lost loved ones.

Post # 16
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. If you want to incorporate him in your wedding, I would do it subtly. In some of the other posts about loss/grieving a lot of women seem to place a picture in their bouquet, which I think is a wonderful idea. Or if you don’t want to cry during the ceremony since it is already going to be emotional for you, I would do something at the reception, maybe a centerpiece at the head table or something like that?

Again, sorry for your loss. <Hugs>

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