(Closed) My cat may end up homeless and DH isn't being very sensitive about it

posted 8 years ago in Pets
Post # 48
Member
972 posts
Busy bee

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@canyouhearmenow13:  I sure hope you’re right! I’ve been told this as well; rottweilers aren’t mentally mature until about 2 years old, so I’m hoping she’ll grow out of it.

With crittering training though, it has been very managable. If we catch her focusing on the cat or just begun chasing we say “ah-ah!” and she usually breaks off. But if she is full on chasing, we have to intercept.. lol. Intercepting a 80 lb rottweiler is NOT easy 😉

 

Post # 50
Member
1709 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

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@kryssbride:  I think it all depends on the animal’s personality…some say it’s easier when both animals are young (they grow up together) and some say it’s easier when they are older (all of their precociousness (sp?) is out of their system and are laid back).  Mine were 2 and 3 (dog and cat)…he is a lot more hyper than she, and likes to play.  After they got used to each other, and he would all of a sudden bark at a dog outside, she would wake up from her nap and just look at him like he was out of his mind and then go back to her nap.  Earlier on she would leave the room when he did that.  I never thought I was an animal person until I got him (now I can’t imagine not having him sleeping next to me on the couch, lol).  I used to be very allergic to cats and dogs (as a younger person, and more pronounced when I was around cats), so I was a little apprehensive living with a cat (we had to buy air purifiers for the bedroom and living room because I was all wheezy the first few weeks). Now, allergies only bother me at random times and never as severe as in the beginning.  The basic gist of this is that I feel my dog (Einstein, lol, what a name) is my son and I know that my FH feels that Kitty (such a creative name, I know, lol) is his daughter and I wouldn’t ever try to make him feel like we had to get rid of her and vice versa.  Even with allergies and not having a huge yard, we attempted to make it work and it has!  I think your hubby is so in love with his dog and is super worried that the cat will jeopardize his dog’s freedom of the apartment (he’s in parent mode, I think); I also think that since you had your mom take care of the cat recently, he may think he has more invested feelings in his dog than you to your cat (may not make sense, just trying to rationalize his actions/feelings)?  I think though that if you guys do try to socialize them and see how it goes, there may be not as much to worry about as he (our you) think.  It will take time, but I think it will work out.  🙂

Post # 51
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@kryssbride:  Maybe try muzzling them first and on a leash to avoid any og them getting hurt. You can also trim your cat’s nails just this once for the meet. 

Post # 52
Member
6739 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@kryssbride: He’s being really selfish. Don’t let him be this way. Tell him the cat is either living with you guys or there are NO PETS in the apartment.  Seriously, I would threaten to take them all to the pound!!!  (I wouldn’t do it, but I would say it with such conviction that he would think I would). 

Post # 53
Member
9781 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

My cat was like 15 when we got our puppy.

I’d just trim the cat’s claws before bringing her over, and keep a leash on the dog so you can interrupt any potential chasing. And if the cat takes a swipe at the dog, well, he’ll learn to give the cat more space next time. Definitely keep the cat in a bedroom or something at first though so she has time to acclimate to the new environment.

Post # 54
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@kryssbride:  It will take time but it can work. I had my cat KitKat and he was 5 years old when he met his 1st dog. He usually just hid under the bed, I felt bad for him as he usually had the run of the house. But as others have said..after a while he ventured out…yep he took a couple of swipes at the dog, and the dog gave hiim a run for the money but they each learned to coexist after a coupld of weeks 😉 After a awhile they ended up being best buddies, caught them sleeping together and giving kisses LOL.

2 years ago we introduced my 13 year old 20lb terrier to my Fiance 45 lb 5 1/2 month lab puppy.  I wa terrified that my little old man was going to get hurt. It turned out that the old man terrier taught the lab puppy real quick who was the alpha dog LOL . They are the best friends now….they play every morning and evening, sleep and kiss each other !!!

Thank goodness for my Fiance who was always reminding me that is was all going to work out and that it would just take time. He has the patience of a Saint…as my ” little old an” is losing his bladder control. And I have patience when our/his lab steals my socks LOL.

Post # 56
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

When my boyfriend (now DH) moved in with me, I had my cat, he had his cat and both cats learned to tolerate each other. We adopted a dog 1.5 years ago and there was an adjustment period, but things went ok.Now everyone mostly ignores each other.

One suggestion I have is to get a baby/pet gate and wall off a room so kitty can have food and the litterbox without worrying about the dog geting too close. Feliway is great and I highly recommend it.

Good luck

Post # 57
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Fiance and I had a 10 year old cat when we got a 6 week old rottweiler/dobermann puppy…..the cat was not a fan, but we made sure to block off the upstairs at all times so she had “her” space….eventually they got along alright (we would catch them sleeping on the couch together)…and at the end of the cats life a few years ago, she would lay with the dog and the dog would clean her…..

After she passed, the dog pined really badly….so almost a year later we finally got a 6 week old kitten (the rescue place was comfortable with that because we had had a dog at 6 weeks)….the dog would clean him, take care of him, and whine when the cat was locked in the bathroom (at night and during the day when we weren’t home to supervise)…..

They are now the best of friends…they play….the cat is definitely rougher than the dog (we’ve caught him hanging off the dogs ear with his mouth)…..but they love each other, but also have their own places to go when they don’t want to be around each other….

I think I would be giving my Fiance an ultimatum…..either the cat comes or I leave….he’s really being insensitive…..and really?  white cat hair all over the place?  Our dog is dark, and I gotta say, I see dog hair all over the place more than I see cat hair (and I’ve had cats all my life…..light grey, white, black, calico…..)…..and I see way more dog hair than cat….

Post # 58
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I really hope that the meeting goes well. They can certainly get along, it might just take time. 

Keep us updated OP!

Post # 59
Member
10451 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

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@StuporDuck:  +1

Absolutely! I would NEVER give up my cat and it sounds like you wouldn’t either. Don’t let him force you to do that. Your poor cat… Can you imagine how awful it would be to be abandoned? Please don’t!

They will adjust to each other. My Fiance has a coworker who has a dog, and they babysat some cats before. He said they ended up tolerating each other after a couple weeks. 

Post # 61
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We moved into an inlaw apartment with my hubby’s son and family in basement before we got married and I had to find a home for my cat. DIL is allergic but she is never in our apartment for more than a few minutes. I moved to a new state, away from my family, am home alone all day d/t disability and I miss having a cat. I have always had cats.

This has caused resentment……to my husband. We moved into this small apartment because his son needed a co-signer for lease, I had just had to stop working and it seemed like a good solution. Well almost a year later and I feel like everyone is happy but me. I had a discussion with DIL about me getting a cat. She is agreeable.

My hubby and I had our first fight over the living situation and getting a cat…..for which there is no easy solution and my feeling that I don’t come first. He wants to make everyone happy and I feel like it’s at my expense sometimes.

My point to my ramble is that you are going to continue to resent your Fiance if he isn’t willing to acknowledge that you are most important and that means he needs to allow the cat to come and try his hardest to make it work.

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