- 7 years ago
I’m a pet-lover. My family always had cats and dogs. We always had 1 or 2 cats (3 at one time) in the house and 1 or 2 outdoor dogs. We also had barn and outdoor cats that were strays that wandered into the yard. FI’s family had outdoor cats and a dogs when he was growing up, but never in the house.
I’ve lived on my own since moving out of the ‘rents house and have had indoor cats since, then. Right now, I have 2 young adults that I’ve had for 2 years. Each have their own personality, sometimes pissing me off with their antics, but I love them dearly and love having them around as company.
Fiance has never been a fan of them. He doesn’t like the hair, the smell of the cat food, the litter boxes and the mischief (and sometimes destruction) they get into. But he put up with it, as it was my place and decided it wasn’t his place to tell me they had to go. We did discuss before I got the 2nd one that if we got married, I would only have the 2 and we would find an alternative home for them once we started having children.
Well, after we got engaged, my cats came up again, since I’d be moving into his home. I told him that if he wasn’t sure about having the cats in the house, I could find alternatives and get over it. We’re not single anymore, we’re a couple and I can compromise so we can both be happy. He kept reassuring me that he knew the cats made me happy and we would try it out. Well, my optimism clouded my realism.
I’ve now moved into his home, with a few things left at my place, including my cats. I’ve been asking everyday when I’d be able to bring them down. He’s been acting very wishy-washy, trying to delay it, saying we need to prepare, etc etc. I’d finally had enough this morning when I told him my boss offered to see if she had baby gates we could use. He then asked me if we could take the cats to my parents place for a while before they came here. No, my parents have enough pets, they don’t need mine! I blew up a bit, telling him I’m tired of him being wishy washy and putting it off. If he truely didn’t want the cats here, I could have found alternatives and not got my hopes up. I told him before I left for work that he had to make up his mind by the end of the day. He texted me, apologizing for being indecisive and that he didn’t know what to say without sounding like a horrible person and that he doesn’t want me to resent him before we begin our lives together. I wouldn’t have felt any of this if he just told me from the beginning, NO.
I’m not sure where to go from here. I’m sure we’ll sit down later tonight and talk about it. I’ve put up an ad on Kijiji trying to find them a good home and getting the word around to friends. I guess this is more of a vent then anything… I’m super upset this morning and having a hard time hiding my tears from people walking into the office. Doesn’t help that I’m the first person they see…