(Closed) My cleaning isn't good enough? *Vent*

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hugs! I know you’re not looking for advice, but I do suggest trying to not be passive aggressive (like not telling where you are going,) although going somewhere to cool off does sound like a good idea!

So sorry to hear you feel like this… my DH is like OCD clean… I never thought I would marry a guy who is cleaner than me and makes me feel guilty!

Post # 4
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Wow, I’m sorry he was so rude to you. I don’t know what to say, because you pretty much said what I would have said.

Some men (or women) think a task is simple until they have to do it all day, everyday (taking care of a household), and don’t realize how hurtful their words are. I hope he apologizes to you.

I agree that being passive-aggressive will make things worse. Try talking to him about how his words hurt you.

Post # 6
1277 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

OP sorry about your cleaning dilemma, a couple of weeks ago I went off on DH when I asked him to vacuum and he said he was tired,mind you all he has to do is vacuum, throw the garbages and pick up after himself and not at the same time he only has to vacuum once a month, throw the garbages once a week and pick up after himself daily….I do all other and major cleaning….I also cook and commute into work 1.5 hrs each way on average….and he has a commute of 10 miles from where we live….so the way I see it he has no excuse to be tired….mind you he has been using the tired excuse for the last 10 mths of our marriage….so I finally blew up and said he really needs to go see a doctor or something because I have never seen someone complain that they’re tired….he gets no sympathy on that front from me….and I also reminded him that I had asked him to vacuum last week and he forgot….so needless to say we had a major fight, but 15 mins later he wasy vacuuming…we discussed the fight later that day and I showed him how much money I am saving us by doing the cleaning and all I ask is that he pitch in….

I would talk to your DH when you’re not upset and point out your cleaning methods vs. his and also let him know that what he did was hurtful and if he feels that he can clean better than you (the bathroom) then in future you can switch who cleans what….hope this helps.


Post # 7
2390 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m so sorry. I think that dividing up housework is one of the hardest parts about cohabitating. People are weird. 

Post # 8
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well I know exactly how you feel! One day i’ll never forget…DH came home from work and our dog gets really excited when she sees him so she pissed on the kitchen floor. I was in the bathroom when he came so I didn’t know what happened. When I walked in he started giving me attitude becuase I threw away the trash but didn’t put a trash bag and then started washing the dishes cuz he said I NEVER clean. I was totally taken back because we both do house work and he’s never complained before. I understand he was probably tired but he yelled at me instead of the dog and brought up my bad house keeping habits. I was so upset that we got in a huge argument over it. Sucks cuz even though we made up and talked about it, I NOW feel the need to have everything perfect when he gets home. Another thing is HE does the same things he accused me of so idk maybe your DH was having one of those days and decided to take his stress out on you? I hope you were able to talk to him about it once you both cooled off. He probably didn’t mean to come off so harsh, unfortunately men can be like that.

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