Post # 1
I figured I would come here and vent since I have no one else to go to.
DH and I have been cleaning the house for the past 2 days. We cleaned out our DD’s room all day yesterday and made kind of a mess of the rest of the house in the process. We hit the rest of the house today. We planned on splitting up the house he would take the living room and bedroom and I would hit the kitchen and bathroom but it didn’t go that way.
I have a process I go through when I clean especially the bathroom because that’s the dirtiest place ever. I bleach the toilet and let the bleach sit in the toilet bowl while I go on to other things so that the bleach can whiten. (My theory anyway) I changed the sheets on our bed and then went to organize our shoes in the under the bed shoe organizer things. Anyway DH goes into the bathroom and tells me to take him the bleach and blah blah blah because the toilet is still dirty. I try and explain to him that I bleached the toilet and then he goes off and yells that it’s still dirty and it’s f&*%ing disgusting and blah blah blah. Well of course it’s still dirty DUH I just told you I didn’t scrub! He then said other stuff I don’t remember but I got defensive because I clean the house all week long don’t tell me how to flippin clean or tell me it’s wrong. I told him if he didn’t like the way I did things then he should do them plain and simple. I’m just annoyed and it upset me because I do this all week on top of cook you meals and watch our daughter. It made me feel unappreciated so I’m going to go to a friends for a couple hours and seriously considering not telling him and leaving my phone at home. *Sigh* I could punch him in the throat but I won’t. I’m also not really looking for advice but if ya got it I don’t mind just looking for a place to vent.
Post # 3
Hugs! I know you’re not looking for advice, but I do suggest trying to not be passive aggressive (like not telling where you are going,) although going somewhere to cool off does sound like a good idea!
So sorry to hear you feel like this… my DH is like OCD clean… I never thought I would marry a guy who is cleaner than me and makes me feel guilty!
Post # 4
Wow, I’m sorry he was so rude to you. I don’t know what to say, because you pretty much said what I would have said.
Some men (or women) think a task is simple until they have to do it all day, everyday (taking care of a household), and don’t realize how hurtful their words are. I hope he apologizes to you.
I agree that being passive-aggressive will make things worse. Try talking to him about how his words hurt you.
Post # 5
We haven’t talked to each other in about an hour or so. He’s going around cleaning and making noise. I’m done cleaning he can finish since my system obviously isn’t good enough.
Post # 6
OP sorry about your cleaning dilemma, a couple of weeks ago I went off on DH when I asked him to vacuum and he said he was tired,mind you all he has to do is vacuum, throw the garbages and pick up after himself and not at the same time he only has to vacuum once a month, throw the garbages once a week and pick up after himself daily….I do all other and major cleaning….I also cook and commute into work 1.5 hrs each way on average….and he has a commute of 10 miles from where we live….so the way I see it he has no excuse to be tired….mind you he has been using the tired excuse for the last 10 mths of our marriage….so I finally blew up and said he really needs to go see a doctor or something because I have never seen someone complain that they’re tired….he gets no sympathy on that front from me….and I also reminded him that I had asked him to vacuum last week and he forgot….so needless to say we had a major fight, but 15 mins later he wasy vacuuming…we discussed the fight later that day and I showed him how much money I am saving us by doing the cleaning and all I ask is that he pitch in….
I would talk to your DH when you’re not upset and point out your cleaning methods vs. his and also let him know that what he did was hurtful and if he feels that he can clean better than you (the bathroom) then in future you can switch who cleans what….hope this helps.
Post # 7
I’m so sorry. I think that dividing up housework is one of the hardest parts about cohabitating. People are weird.
Post # 8
Well I know exactly how you feel! One day i’ll never forget…DH came home from work and our dog gets really excited when she sees him so she pissed on the kitchen floor. I was in the bathroom when he came so I didn’t know what happened. When I walked in he started giving me attitude becuase I threw away the trash but didn’t put a trash bag and then started washing the dishes cuz he said I NEVER clean. I was totally taken back because we both do house work and he’s never complained before. I understand he was probably tired but he yelled at me instead of the dog and brought up my bad house keeping habits. I was so upset that we got in a huge argument over it. Sucks cuz even though we made up and talked about it, I NOW feel the need to have everything perfect when he gets home. Another thing is HE does the same things he accused me of so idk maybe your DH was having one of those days and decided to take his stress out on you? I hope you were able to talk to him about it once you both cooled off. He probably didn’t mean to come off so harsh, unfortunately men can be like that.
Post # 9
We did talk once I got home after being with friends for a couple hours. He told me he thought I had already “cleaned” and apologized. I also told him when we divide the work to let me handle my things my way and he can do things his way with his area. Usually I clean during the week since I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom so it isn’t a big deal then because he doesn’t have to do it.