(Closed) My close friend just got engaged!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Just be over the moon happy for her, and don’t think about the fact that you aren’t engaged. Tell your bf how excited you are for her, and how you can’t wait to help her plan. I think he’ll probably know that it makes you feel disappointed that you aren’t engaged yet; but think of how impressed he will be that instead of feeling sorry for youself, you feel so happy for your friend. It will help him associate happiness with weddings and engagements instead of dissapointment.

Post # 4
Member
2317 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I agree. Be genuinely happy for her. I know it must be tough though, cuz my mind will automatically go what about me? Luckily my bff and I usually go through the same phases of life almost unilaterally, so I’ll see it as a rite of passage for us both.

Don’t worry about it, your times coming soon. Just enjoy helping her plan for now.

Post # 5
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I agree. I’m sure he knows that it probably does bother you. I know it’s makes you feel bad, but just try to remember that helping her with ideas, gives you more chances to find ideas for your own wedding!

Post # 6
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Well yay for her! I know it’s hard seeing other people get engaged before you! I’ve been to weddings of people who go started dating after we did, that’s hard too.

Congrats to your friend. Have fun helping her plan!

Post # 7
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Been there. And been there. And been there. Sigh. I know it stinks.

I agree with the other posters that you should do  your best to be really positive about this. Just keep reminding yourself that your big day will come and that you will enjoy the journey as much as you can. [Yeah, doesn’t always work for me either, but we try…]

Hugs!

 

Post # 9
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

(((lolaj))) Aw, that really made me know how you feel. My SO’s niece got married after knowing the guy that long and now they have a baby on the way. (I got raging baby fever too.) My SO talked to me after I told him how I felt and it’s better now. 🙂 I’m sure yours will too.

I hope things start to look up!

Post # 10
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Ugh, that must be rough.  I know it’s hard, but try your best to focus on the positive, like all of the new opportunities this will present for mentioning wedding related things!  😀

I know how annoying it is to hear people tell you how you should and shouldn’t feel (all the “don’t be dissapointed, just be happy!” like it’s that easy to control our emotions).  Whenever someone dismissively tells you to just magically stop feeling the way you do, remember that what they really mean is to do your best to focus on the positive.

Post # 11
Member
256 posts
Helper bee

5 months! Wowza!

This has got to be so hard for you – I know you’re happy for her, but it’s so weird to feel happy for her and frustrated for yourself at the same time.  This is your “safe place” though, this is where you can express yourself without worry and we will know how you feel.  Even though I haven’t been posting here for very long, getting to come into this board, and vent what I’m feeling to ladies I *know* understand how I feel makes me feel so much better.

My sister got in to town today, so I am off to hang out with the family a lot this weekend.  She’s 3 years younger than me, and got engaged in March, and it’s still kinda hard for me.  Family gatherings inevitably lead to wedding talk and planning and since I am her Maid/Matron of Honor I am involved with it all.  I’m super happy for her, and love my future brother-in-law, but I still wish it was *my* wedding everyone was planning!

Post # 12
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

my close friend got engaged right before me and i was pretty mopey despite best intentions and i really regret that now.  stay strong!

Post # 13
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

That’s got to be rough for you, but do your best to be happy for her.

I got engaged last month and my best friend is waiting on a ring.  It was really hard for me to tell her, and I know that deep down she is excited for me, but is still having a hard time expressing that to me.  Recently when we’ve talked, we have talked about how she is going to get engaged soon and what her wedding is going to be like.  She hasn’t asked me much about mine.  I really wish that she could be happier for me.  I understand what she is going through….but on the other hand, I just got ENGAGED!!!!!  Don’t do this to your friend.  It sucks.

Post # 14
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee

@lolaj:  I  know how you feel trust me.  My older Future Sister-In-Law got engaged last year and I was really happy for her because the last time it didn’t work out her FH then was a total duch bag.  Then this year in march one month b4 my Future Sister-In-Law wedding his younger sister got engaged.  I couldn’t help but be a little down and jealous.  Although  I’m happy for her I now my time will come and it’ll be amazing. I know my SO timeline and it’s still a couple of years out so I’m just trying to enjoy the relationship now.  When your time comes it’ll be amazing and everything you’ll be waiting for.  I can’t wait to see your post one day soon I hope.

Post # 15
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Ah! I’m so glad I found this thread…one of the couples we’re going on my birthday trip in a few weeks is getting engaged, I’ll need to get out of my head and be happy for her. Despite that I’m hoping but probably won’t get the birthday present I really want (a ring).

Post # 16
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

Grrrr. Just screw a smile on your face and do your best. The truth is, you can be jealous. You can be sad. You can even be upset. It’s totally acceptable. Just don’t let her know. You can tell your Boyfriend or Best Friend. Maybe not in an accusing way but let’s face it, 5 years is a long time and 5 months is super short. If you’re frustrated, tell him. Otherwise, trust me, you might let it build up and at the wedding you may or may not explode.

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