(Closed) My confession

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
5497 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

*Hugs* I’m sorry to read this! I am glad you felt you could share your experience with us. I don’t think you sound crazy. I think you did what you needed to do to grieve and come to terms with your loss. *HUGS*

Post # 5
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh, I am so, so sorry for your loss.  That’s a terrible thing to go through. Sending you hugs and wishes for healing.

Post # 6
Member
988 posts
Busy bee

Hugs!  I, too, had a miscarriage.  There are actually lots of us on the bee and you are right to turn to us for support.  I’m sorry that it has been so difficult for you to open up about this.  I found a lot of solace in talking about it and hearing other people tell me their stories.  I realized just how common it was.  I hope that these last few months have been healing for you.  And that soon you’ll feel good enough to get back into the game and try again!  

Post # 8
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Aw, sweetie, I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. I know how you feel… I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks in June and it was devastating. We weren’t telling anyone “in real life” that we were TTC, so no one knew I was pregnant. The timing was also pretty awful so I just couldn’t talk about it with my family. I still haven’t told anyone (except my hubby!) outside of WB.

This board has been amazing, because I am able to come on here and talk about my feelings, vent and whine, and people know what I am going through! Sadly, miscarriage is much more common than I originally thought, and every time I mention my miscarriage, someone on these boards jumps in and tell me about their similar situation. 

There are A LOT of us on here that are currently TTC again after a miscarriage. It’s a SCARY time (because I WANT to be pregnant but I’m not sure I could go through that again!), but it’s also exciting and the girls on here remind me that it’s great to be excited but also normal to be scared. When you are ready to TTC, we will be here with open arms.

Also, don’t feel bad about disappearing from WB. I did the same thing, and when I came back, I decided I needed a new username, because my old one had so much to do with my first pregnancy. I needed a fresh start, and here I am, TTC again!

I hope that you are beginning to heal and starting to feel a little better. Remember that it is completely normal for your sadness to pop up at random times and get you down. The hardest part for me right now is dealing with friends who are about to give birth– but I’m working through it.

We will be here for you– no matter how you are feeling! I’m so so so sorry you had to experience this. It’s awful, and I wish no one had to go through it. Big hugs!

Post # 9
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

So sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad you’re feeling better though, good luck in the cycles to come 🙂 I’ll be rooting for you!!

Post # 11
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Fire: Oh sweetie, you are not pouting, and no apologies are necessary. It is totally, totally ok to be open about your pain. Try to remember, when possible, that an early MC does NOT mean that you will never have a child!  As someone said about, it’s something many women have gone through.  Lots don’t even realize if they weren’t TTC; they just think their period was late. I don’t know the stats, but I would venture to guess that most women who have an early miscarriage go on to have a healthy baby.

If that numb feeling persists for much longer, go see someone. It’s totally possible for depression to be triggered by an experience like this, and there’s no shame in getting some help for it.

Post # 12
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m so sorry.  It’s so hard to deal with when you feel like you can’t tell friends or family.  And there’s only so many times you can try explaining it to Darling Husband.  We’re here for you!  You can also turn to support sites like spals.com if you feel sad or unsure about TTC again.  I totally understand what you’re going through, and if you need anything, PM me.

Post # 13
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

@Fire: You’re not pouting!! From what I have gathered from my experience and from others here on WB, what you are feeling is totally normal!!!! I do the same thing– one day I’m fine, and the next I’m sad all day long, or randomly crying. Some days I feel like I’m on my way to be ok with what happened, and then other days I’m a mess!

Sometimes my sadness comes from hearing pregnancy announcements (so and so is 15 weeks along… I would be 24 weeks by now) or birth announcements (THEY had a baby, why can’t I?). But sometimes my sadness comes out of the blue… 

I do agree with counseling because I’m a big believer and think it can help people. BUT I also assure you this is normal… I haven’t gone to a counselor or therapist… but everyone is different.

The best thing for me is to remind myself, while it’s ok to be sad, that I also need to be excited about TTC again. This has helped me get through the numb feeling. But, mind you, it took me all of June & all of July to be fully ready to start TTC again. And we tried in August, without any luck. When I do get pregnant, I will make myself read books and take weekly pictures from the beginning. It’s scary, but if I live in the sadness and numbness and fear all the time, then I will miss out on great moments.

Again, big hugs!!!

Post # 15
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Fire:I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that you are able to talk about it–I hope that means you have had some time to grieve and come to terms with it.

Please feel free to PM me anytime. To cry, to vent, to wonder why it’s still bothering you… whatever.

Miscarriages are ridiculously common. And so difficult to handle because you can’t really tell the whole world. I’m glad you were able to come to us.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

And good luck to you and your husband when you are ready to try again!

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