Post # 47
@TwoStatesBride: My cousins, same aged females, both named their daughter’s the same name. The babies are two years apart. The last names are different and I think the middle ones are too. The one lives in the midwest and the other in CA, so they never see each other.
I probably woulddn’t do it, but they don’t have a problem with it at all. If you love the name and have a girl, I’d go for.
Post # 48
I’m actually annoyed that you didn’t post the actual names. Like, the obsession with having a unique name might be robbed by an internet stranger.
Post # 49
My sister and my cousin have the same first name, which isn’t a super common name. My dad died a few years ago and my sister just had her first boy, named after my dad. I want to do the same thing (different nickname), because it’s a great name as well as honoring my dad, but my husband thinks it’s a little weird.
At the end of the day, my advice is to not worry about it until either of you is pregnant, but that if you both have girls and still like the name – then you should both go for it!
Post # 50
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
Eh not weird . My cousin had a baby girl & happened to use my moms & aunts names (though not named after them). And I really like a variation of my grandmas name as well as my aunts make, but babies are eons away so who knows 🙂
Post # 51
I dunno, I love being the only one of my name. No other extended family is Stephanie or even close. It’s all mine. We have two Mike’s, Two Joe’s, Two Ed’s. I dislike that. I’d never name my child the same as any (living) relation. Your name is your identity. I’m not sharing!!
Post # 52
@TwoStatesBride: i think it would be okay because your cousins and your kids probably wont be close. unless they will be and then it will be weird.
Post # 53
@TwoStatesBride: The (potential) girls would be 2nd cousins. I don’t think it’s a problem because that’s sufficiently distant on the family tree. For instance, they wouldn’t share any grandparent. So each grandmother can unambiguously refer to “my granddaughter Firstname”.
Cousins with the same name is a problem (parents are siblings). 2nd cousins – not really a problem.
So I say you should each use that name. (But if you’re pregnant first, forewarn her).
Post # 54
I think whoever has one first gets the name . Or flip a coin so u know and have piece of mind lol
Post # 55
I think it’s fine. I have a cousin with the same name as I have and a cousin with a rhyming name. Hers just has a “T” in front of it (Talea vs Aaliyah, for example). I liked having the same/rhyming name growing up.
Post # 56
@TwoStatesBride: My friend made the mistake of telling her cousin what girl name she had picked out and then she went and had a baby girl and stole the name (first and middle). My friend was pissed. She never did end up having a baby girl, but her cousin was kind of a jerk for stealing it.
Since you guys already dicussed it, you had both individually chosen the same name and are ok with either one giving it up if the other has a baby girl first then it seems like it shouldn’t be a problem. And I don’t think same name cousins is so bad either. You might both never have a girl anyway.
Post # 57
@TwoStatesBride: I think it’s fine if they have the same name, especially because it’s a family name. Don’t see why it needs to be a big deal at all. We have second cousins in my family with the same name, and i hasn’t been a big deal. You can always call them each by their middle names when they’re together in person, so there will be no confusion as to who is who.
Then again, I don’t understand why some people would feel like they aren’t their own person. I saw a PP mentioned it. I don’t know how it feels to be in her situation, but I can give an analogous situation. I know a lot of twins who feel that they were unable to be their own person because they have a twin. I’m a twin and I’ve never felt this way, so I think it probably has a lot to do with how a child is treated by his/her family and friends (and maybe the child’s disposition).
Post # 58
@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon: sorry you think I did that for that reason, but that would be the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. I did it to protect my identity because enough people know the story and names to make it risky.
Post # 59
@paula1248: that’s very true. Great points.
Post # 60
I hate the name stakers. No one gets to claim a name – not even in the same immediate family. Your interaction with your cousin gives me the creeps, OP, because she was drawing you out – perhaps for her own name ideas, and then, to drive it into you that it was her name FIRST.
I had an aunt (my mom’s sister-in-law) who went ballistic when she learned what my mom named me. For the record, said aunt only had one child – a son. She claims she was going to name her child the same as me, but my mom contends it was a similar, but different, name. In any case, it’s ridiculous. Who cares if two cousins end up having the same name?
In your case, the kids would be second cousins to one another anyway. I like the name Nathan and I know that my cousin’s wife likes it for a son as well. I don’t care if they have a kid first and name him Nathan, or if I have a kid first and name him Nathan. We can both have kids with the same name. I’d feel the same way if it was my own sibling saying that.
I don’t care if his sibling or my sibling had a baby tomorrow and chose the same name. It wouldn’t compel me to change my choices in the least.
I think the same thing applies here. I wouldn’t say anything to her. You announce the name you have chosen when you feel ready. And if your cousin has a stomping fit, you say, “I chose that name before you ever talked about it. If you have a daughter later on, you can name her whatever you choose – this name included. So, how’s work?” Don’t let someone else convince you that it’s a huge, life-changing isuse. She can stew over it and be miserable if she wants, but you’ve got 99 problems, and she ain’t one.