(Closed) My cousin didn’t invite me to his wedding. Should I invite him????

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you invite him????????
    Yes: he is family..... : (26 votes)
    63 %
    No: he clearly doesn't care about me so screw him! : (15 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    767 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    The problem is, unless you speak with your cousin, you will never know why he didn’t invite you. Since planning a wedding, we all know how hard it can be to decide who to invite. If it were me, I would just think about if I were planning on inviting him before I found out I was not invited, and go with that. So if you were going to invite him, don’t like this change your mind. Who knows- maybe he wont even come. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1641 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Maybe your cousin is opting for a very private wedding, with only those close to him. Everyone should be able to decide who they are/aren’t inviting based on their own needs and wants. I don’t think you should not invite him because he didn’t invite you. That seems childish to me.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’d invite him.  Sounds like they aer having a small wedding if your aunts and uncles didn’t get invited. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1227 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Since your other cousins and aunt & uncle weren’t invited, I wouldn’t take it personally. If he is planning something lavish, he may not have had the budget to invite the whole family. If I were in that situation, then I’d go with just inviting my grandparents, too. (I have 18 cousins, plus the aunts and uncles that produced them, plus several children of those cousins…it can very easily double or triple your guest list when you start getting into extended family invites.) It’s really difficult to make those kind of decisions, and I’m betting he feels bad about it.

    So – if you were originally going to invite him to yours, then definitely go ahead and still do it. Lucky for you that you can afford it!!

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    18644 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    It sounds to me like maybe he was keeping the invited list small since your other cousins and aunt weren’t invited also.  I don’t think he was trying to offend you or exclude you on purpose.

    Post # 10
    Member
    929 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I say if you can afford to invite him, do so.  You end up with the upper hand in that case, because you were the bigger person.  I am going through a similar situation, and that is how I chose to handle it 🙂  Good luck!

    Post # 12
    Member
    340 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    So I know this may be a bit far fetched, but it could be possible that your invite did not make it to you. Do you live in an apartment by chance? Maybe he messed up your zip code? I only say this because I sent my FI’s cousin a save the date back in October in Chicago from South Carolina (crazy coincidence) and I JUST got it back “return to sender” because her apartment number rubbed off when going through the mail. Just throwing that out there. I would still invite him though. Just my opinion.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2790 posts
    Sugar bee

    What is your relationship with him? How often do you talk to him? Were the two of you close as children? What about the rest of his family,  you say his sister was invited, what about his mom and dad or other siblings?

    I think it is less about whether you were invited to his and more about will you be disappointed if he wasn’t there. If you consider him to be a relatively close family member and someone that you speak to and don’t normally have any qualms with I would still invite him. There may be a whole host of reasons why you did not receive an invitation to his wedding.

    Post # 14
    Member
    536 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I think it would be a good idea to talk to him or his parents.  If they say something like “It is a small wedding and we can’t invite everyone” than that I understandable and you could still invite him.  If it is for other reasons, don’t bother inviting him.

    Post # 15
    Member
    988 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    You began by stating ‘I am not close to my cousin..’.  This is the exact reason he didn’t invite you.  Why bother inviting him either.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    3167 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    i’d still invite him. even if he doesn’t come, maybe he’ll send a present since he’s sitting on all that $$$ lol. inviting him makes you the bigger person.

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