My cousin doesn't want me to invite his Ex GF. What should I do?

posted 3 years ago in Guests
  • poll: Should I invite the ex gf?
    Yes you should, you are all adults and Mark can suck it up for one evening. : (65 votes)
    90 %
    No, respect your cousins wishes. : (7 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    7642 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Mark can suck it up. What do you think happens when the parents of the bride are divorced? They suck it up. But with Mark and his ex it’s even easier than with divorced bride’s parents, because they have no official roles and can easily be sat on opposite sides of the room.

    Mark has no say in who you (or his sisters) are friends with.

    Post # 3
    Member
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    I voted “invite her” however, I am parting from the idea that your relationship with them is equal (you don’t prefer one over the other). If, however, you consider yourself closer to your cousing than to his ex, I would say that inviting her or not will depend on why they broke up: Did she cheat on him? Did she left him for another guy? Did she break up an engagement? 

    Post # 5
    Member
    306 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2004

    I think she should be invited, but you put yourself in a difficult spot by asking for his feelings on inviting her rather than just telling him that she’s invited.

    Post # 7
    Member
    306 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2004

    lunafreya :  LOL will your parents & your cousins parents be okay with her being invited?

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    I would just invite her, she’s your friend. She doesn’t care, he will

    be fine. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    7642 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Belichick :  So? It’s not their wedding. Her parents don’t get to veto her friends list.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3496 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    Guests don’t dictate the guest list. Your cousin is a guest. His options are to attend or not attend. He doesn’t get to vote on anyone else’s invitation. If you want her there, invite her. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    488 posts
    Helper bee

    Since she can babysit his nieces and nephews, and they have clearly both moved on since he has a new partners, I think you are in the right inviting her. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    3870 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    lunafreya :  Seeing as he broke up with her, there wasn’t an issue of this ex-GF leaving him or cheating on him, and he’s now in a relationship with someone else, I’d say invite her. He doesn’t have to interact with her if he doesn’t want to. I can understand his frustration that his family has built relationships with her after they have broken up. It’s probably not easy to know his ex-GF is still close with his family. His feelings of not wanting to see her are probably related to how he ended it. He may be embarrassed or ashamed. Or, maybe he just doesn’t want to see her, either way, he can set it aside for six hours on his cousin’s wedding. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1596 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    lunafreya :  Invite her! Mark can suck it up for a few hours – there will be plenty of his family there to distract him from the ex that he left. We’re inviting one of my FIs groomsmens ex, because she became a dear friend to us during their relationship, and we couldn’t imagine not inviting her. We ran it by the Groomsmen, but knew he wouldn’t have a problem with it. 

    Likewise, my last ex, who I broke up with 2.5 years ago – he was the most immature ex I’ve ever had. His sister and I became very close during our relationship, and have actually become better friends since he and I split. She’s coming to my wedding next month, and has invited me to her wedding in 6 months and informed me that even he was ok with me coming (I asked just to make sure he woudln’t be weird about me bringing my will be husband). If he can get over it, Mark can get over it. I would have been upset if she didn’t invite me because of him (though I would have understood and gotten over it).

    Post # 14
    Member
    3806 posts
    Honey bee

    lunafreya :  It’s really hard when you break up with someone, and your family chooses to keep them in your life when all you want to do is move on. I would not invite her and tell her for the sake of Mark’s feelings you need to keep your friendship more private. This happened to my Brother-In-Law for a while with his ex, and I felt so bad for him that his family kept shoving this girl into his life when all he wanted was to move on.

    Post # 15
    Member
    14969 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I dunno why you asked in the first place.  It’s not his place to decide who can and cannot get invited to your wedding.  If you were going to tell him anything about it, it should have been a heads up, I’m iviting her, so be prepared if you have an issue with that.  Just cause he dismissed her from his life doesnt mean eveyrone has to imo. 

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