(Closed) My cousin just decided to have her wedding the week of ours…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 1996

i’m sorry. i dont know what i would do. try and stick to being you. just because her venue is “nicer” doesnt mean her wedding will be. venues are only 4 walls and a floor. its the energy that matters!!

Post # 18
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

And yeah, don’t worry about her venue being ‘nicer’ – it’s the guests and the atmosphere that make a wedding.

Post # 20
Member
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

That sucks but there is absolutely nothing you can do.

Don’t change your guestlist, leave it up to the GUEST as to if they can attend or not. Keep in mind weekday weddings a lot of people don’t like, so she may not have the best turnout.

Don’t compare the weddings, as hard as it may be. I suggest not talking to her about details either. Be vauge, and don’t ask too many questions about hers either. Focus on yours and leave her to focus on hers.

Post # 21
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Gardens of the World

I know people say “you only get one day” and all that, but when this happens it still sucks. Im sorry 🙁 If it helps, my cousin decided to have her wedding 3 weeks before ours (which I know isnt the same as 4 days though!) in the exact same garden, and then the exact same part of the garden…and then she copied a whole lot of our vendors too. Relatives couldnt afford to travel twice in 3 weeks there so yes we missed out on some guests coming…but that turned out to be the only down side. I thought it would be horrible to be the wedding after hers, because everyone who had been to hers would be judging us. But you know what? Because our wedding was the second one, it ended up being the one everyone remembered and talked about. In the long run, our weddings being so close together didnt matter at all. So I really hope that your situation turns out as well as that.

Post # 23
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Gardens of the World

P.S. I second being vague about your wedding details. I made the mistake of telling my grandma about some of ours, which got passed on to my cousin, who promptly copied everything. Vagueness is your friend 😛

Post # 25
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@HappilyEverAfter54: theater sounds pretty cool to me 🙂 They had one on a four weddings episode I don’t know when. But it was really cool!

Post # 26
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

FWIW if I did not have to travel (ie overnight) I would likely still go to both. And your wedding will be completely different, likely both awesome in it’s own way! So don’t drive yourself crazy comparing!

HUGS!

Post # 29
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It definitely sucks when its the same families it affects…life just works out that way sometimes.

At the end of the day, you’ll be married and have had a lovely wedding regardless of it being so close to your cousin’s. Keep your chin up and stay focused on the positive – 20 years from now, this won’t seem like such a big deal as it does now.

Comparing ourselves and what we have to other people only ever serves to cause upset so just focus on yourself and your fiance and YOUR day and let her do her thing.

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